It's So Easy

You really couldn't make this stuff up if you tried.

Ljm Week #5

Team IThinkMikeShulaIsDoingAFineJob

QB: Ainge, UT
RB: Irons, AU
RB: Green-Ellis, Ole
WR: Taylor, AU
WR: Swain, UT
WR: Bowe, LSU
K: Hetland, FL
D: LSU

Are either of you going to chase Rice like yesterdays stock tip?

Closest Scores of the Season

Week Four brought about the closest JLM scoring of the season. And if any one of us would have used his brain and taken Sidney Rice and his 46 JLM points (that's right...160+ receiving yards and FIVE touchdowns!!) it would have been a blow out. Instead we not only overlooked the top wideout performance of the season we (at least Larry and I) blew it on the LSU receiver. Larry got a whopping four from Dwayne Bowe while Craig Davis netted me eight. Meanwhile, Early Doucet reached paydirt three times and would have scored 25 or so JLM points for someone. As it turns out, his choice of Bowe didn't ruin his team and Larry notched his first victory of the season. His top two picks of Russell and Lester carried the team to victory, combining for 41 JLM points. His only other player in double figures was Dallas Baker, the non-touchdown maker who caught passes for over 140 yards but couldn't find the end zone (maybe he should transfer to Alabama...I hear they don't even know what an end zone looks like). James will be kicking himself for hitching his hopes to the wrong Cock this week. Mr. D decided to ride with Corey Boyd against FAU (hey, you can't talk about my alma mater that way!) and unfortunately Boyd was a no show. I don't know if he was suspended or what but he didn't touch the ball at all Saturday. That hurts, as James only needed 20 total points from his tailbacks to win the week. Hello James...KennyIrons wasn't playing and Brad Lester was jumping up and down in front of you waving his arms. And yet again, another possible JLM winning week was destroyed the choice of Alabama running back Ken Darby. WTFWYT??? Anyway, even though he came in last this week, James can take some solace in the fact that his WR corps led the league this week with a whopping 26 points. You gotta look for the little positives in the losses James. And by now you should have plenty of little positives to build on.

Final tally
Larry - 85
Matt - 75
James - 73

Thursday night football this week as the Tigers look to put an utterly lackluster performance behind them with a big road win over Spurrier's Cocks. Unfortunately for me (this one hurts) I probably won't get to watch the game as I will either be in a workshop for substitute teaching in Gwinnett County or on the road driving to Indiana to visit the in-laws. Cece better pray I can find the game on the radio or she's in for it. Now that I think about it though...Ray and Pat bought a new VCR three years ago so they could record the AU/USC debacle for me while we were at a wedding. Maybe I can press them into service again so I can watch the game when we show up sometime after midnight. I'll let you know if you should call me or not.

Re: Game Day comments

I did have thoughts on Boner's Game Day rant. I'm personally torn on ESPN's coverage or lack there of for Auburn. I feel like Auburn is better off to not get the national publicity and kind of fly under the radar until late November. However, it would be nice to tune in to the college shows and here some nice comments about the team. Still, people want to downplay their ranking and say that they have a cupcake schedule. The fact that the games are at home doesn't change the reality that they are playing top 10 caliber teams. Just because they are in conference shouldn't matter. They played a Pac 10 team and it was no contest.

As for the Game Day location, it's kind of a losing battle. They don't go for the story any more. They are going to follow ABC and that's fine. It's easy to get defensive, but the bottom line is that there are a couple of programs (Notre Dame, FSU, Ohio St., Michigan, Texas, and USC) that will monopolize the spotlight regardless. I mean, how can Ohio St./Michigan be considered the biggest rivaly in the country when they are different states. It's not like you go to work and half the people are for one team and half for the other. Or that family members don't talk for one weekend because of a certain game. But I digress. Ultimately, the location of Game Day will be less meaningful, just like Monday night football games in December between Green Bay and Oakland.

On a side note, did Lou Holtz really coach in the SEC? I mean, did he realize that he was in the SEC? He is the worse studio guy I've seen since Michael Irvin. Good grief. Does he still get paid by Notre Dame? Just wondering.

Random ramblings

Well, I went to a wedding in Chicago last weekend. It was pretty much a reunion of people that used to live in Appleton and work for KC. About 75% of those people have left and now work at different places or are in school. Anyway, there wasn't much sleep and I still haven't recovered. Man, getting old stinks. Maybe the hardest thing about teaching is that you can't really show up to work and say that I'm just going to lay low and not do much today. There's always 15-20 little faces expecting something. On the bright side, I spent the afternoon today organizing and helping out with the middle school homecoming activities such as duck taping a student to the wall to see who would be suspended the longest, magic carpet rides (relay race were you carry a student on a sleeping bag), and other various competitions amongst the different grade levels.

I thought I'd share a couple of links. Great stuff from my brother on the future of football at FSU. And in case you didn't get the email on the website my brother-in-law and friends created. Keeping Mike Shula would be the best thing for Auburn.

On a more serious note, I also mentioned that I went to see a speaker yesterday on the impact of poverty on education. Here is the website of the lady that spoke. She told stories that two years ago would have said were entirely fiction, but realize based on what I see, they are very, very real. When I think back to Grissom, I just don't remember poverty. I rerember thinking others had more. What are weird life view to have. Now I recognize that life isn't only about having financial resources, but other resources such as spiritual, mental, emotional, social, etc.

Hope everyone is well. Winter is fast approaching here.

MLJ Week 4

Team Timetotakeoutyournotebooksbecauseyou'regoingtogetschooled

QB: Chris Leak, uf
RB: Cory Boyd, usc
RB: Kenneth Darby, uat
WR: Dallas Baker, uf
WR: Marcus Monk, arky
WR: Robert Meacham, ut
K: John Vaughn
DEF: Auburn

When you look out at the schedule, which game scares you the most?? Me, well, to be honest, Thursday night at South Carolina. Yes, they are terrible, but after pounding them last year and they're poor showings this year, I'm just hoping that we aren't going to take them for granted. Spurrier is still the ol' ball coach. The other game that scares me, assuming we can go unblemished...Alabama. Oh well, that's a long ways off.

Close Shave

Well, I pulled out a very Auburn Tiger type victory in JLM Week 3. Larry gets the MBP (Most Ballsiest Picks) for the true freshman quarterback from Arkansas (Mustain was the high man this week with 27) as well as the KY Jelly receiver I've never heard of, Lyons, who tallied 20, the second highest total of any player. Unfortunately his two AU picks combined to net only 2 points and his running backs totaled only 10. The score breakdown was Matt - 80, Larry - 75, James - 55. Seems like the frozen tundra refers not only to the cold, hard earth of the Great White North but also to the part of James' brain that picks JLM players. His leading scorer was his kicker and his quarterback only notched 5...ouch. Oddly none of us had any faith in Chris Leak who put up good numbers in Knoxville. If Larry and Amanda had the physical ability to have any more children I would put money on Larry naming any subsequent son BenJarvus as he has chosen the Ole Miss running back every week I think. Okay, gotta run fellas as the line is getting long here at the ol' library.

Two final thoughts. I was surprised we stayed ahead of USC in the AP poll. I have to beleive if we win out and Florida, LSU, and Georgia all continue to play well we shouldn't face another 2004 type disappointment. Also, as I turned the car on this morning "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson was blasting on the radio and I was taken back in time to 2002, on a cold night in Appleton, Wisconsin. I was standing in a smoky bar watching Phil mosh around the dance floor at Park Central or Route 66 or whatever the name of that place was. Good stuff.

The Continued Decline of College GameDay

I know the whole ESPN/ABC bias issue against the SEC has been covered ad nauseum on the web (okay, you guys probably didn't read too much about it, but I sure did last year when I had a full eight hours a day to play around on the web...I mean sell things), especially by the geniuses at www.edsbs.com (EveryDayShouldBeSaturday). But this year it has really gone into high gear and the locations chosen so far for College Gameday illustrate the point perfectly.

As we all know, ESPN is owned by ABC and they are blurring the lines between their programming even more this year by calling all sports shown on ABC as ESPN on ABC. ESPN sees College Gameday as one of its most popular and profitable shows, boosting the duration to two hours this year. The two networks also started a new Saturday Night College Football Game of the Week on ABC this season. So, where do you think College Gameday has been the first three weeks so far? How about in Atlanta for Notre Dame/Georgia Tech (coincidentally the ABC Game of the Week!), Austin for Texas/Ohio State (ta da! ABC's Game of the Week again), and this week they are in (drum roll please) Los Angeles for the USC/Nebraska game (I'll give you three guesses who ABC is showing Saturday night in their Game of the Week). Now, I have absolutely no beef with the location last week. It was number 1 vs. number 2, a huge early season, cross sectional showdown which deserved all the attention it got. The Notre Dame/Georgia Tech choice was slightly more dubious, but given Tech's penchant for knocking off highly ranked teams early in the season lately (cough...Auburn...cough) and the fact that it turned out to be a close game it wasn't all that bad of a choice. This week however, is just plain ridiculous.

I just wish I could ask Kirk and Chris (forget Corso, he's too senile to know what year it is) a simple question. It's the third week in a football season that has seen zero major upsets or shifts in the polls so far (I don't consider Texas falling to number 8 a major shift in the polls...if they win out they'll be in the top 4 at the end of the year and possibly even qualify for the BCS Championship Game). This Saturday you have #2 hosting #10...#3 hosting #6...#11 hosting #7...and #4 hosting #19. Which game are you going to go to. Without telling them the teams involved does any reasonable person expect them to say they would choose the last game??? I know all the excuses they would throw at us. It's two of the most storied teams in college football playing for the first time (or at least the first time in a long while)...Nebraska's resurgance...USC's dominance over the past four years...BLAH...BLAH...BLAH. It's partisan BS any way you slice it. They can say they've already been at a Notre Dame game this year and they have been to the UT/UF game several times in the past. They can say they're saving the Auburn visit for the Florida or Georgia game. They can spew all the crap they want. The reality is they are going to pump up the ABC Game of the Week from now on and the rest of the games are secondary. Remember ABC's Saturday night line up is set for the whole season so if the teams they are showing end up tanking and having crap seasons we're going to be stuck with a whole lot of Gameday stories and attention being heaped upon a bad game.

In summation, Gameday sucks now and I hate that. I'd write more about it but I only have twenty more minutes on the computer. I really have to get the internet at home.

JLM Week 3

Team SweetIGettoPickFirst

QB: Cox, AU
RB: Irons, AU
RB: McFadden, ark
WR: Baker, uf
WR: Meachem, ut
WR: Rice, sc
K: Coutu, ugay
D: bama, bama, bama won't you bite my a$$

Where have all the good Boner's gone

Do you remember the days when Boner would break down an upcoming Auburn game with two pages of statistics, strengths, weaknesses, history, etc., often times even suggesting that Auburn was outmatched? Still, in the end he always went with the heart and predicted an AU win. Now, a trip around the world later and he's calling for the 3rd ranked Tigers to drop. Maybe it's the sight of so many man-capris, but I was shocked to say the least.

My thoughts, if you care. I think it's going to be a typical Tigers vs. Tigers battle most likely coming down to the wire. I feel confident that we played better teams. Not good teams, but better than the creampuffs LSU lined up against. I'm a little nervous that our defense, while fast as heck, is small and susceptible to being run on. We need an enormous game from our defensive backs to allow us to put an extra guy or two in the box. I'm not convinced the Jamarcus has turned the corner. With some heavy pressure, I think we can force him back into his old self. As for the offense, I think they've been conservative so far, but I hope they don't get too crazy in this game. In the immortal words or some drunk fan circa 1997, "run the ball, run the ball, run the f#$*(@g ball." Still, I think we need more impact from our tight end, and 6-7 catches from Courtney wouldn't hurt. Also, I'd love to see Lester and Irons on the field at the same time a la Caddy and Ronnie. I think they are both a threat to take it to the house on any play. Brandon will be consistent, not great, but I don't think he'll lose the game. Touchdowns may be hard to come by, so J.Vaughn has to redeem himself. In the end, I think Auburn establishes themselves as a real national championship contender with a solid victory moving up to #2 after Notre Dame gets pounded my Meeeeeechigan (I can hope can't I?).

Auburn 27
lsu 20 (with a chance to tie at the end, only to have David Irons intercept a Russell pass in the endzone)

Did I mention that I won't be watching the game live?? That's right, for the 3rd time since I've lived in Wisconsin I have a wedding (this time in Chicago) on the same day as an Auburn/LSU game. Let's just hope I don't get in too much hot water by sneaking off to the local bar.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Now, that's more like it

Okay, the abberation that was last week's results seems to have cleared up and all is right with the world (of JLM) again. In a startling turnaround from Week 1 I set a new record which can never be broken. Every single one of my picks, including my defense, scored in double figures. I can't recall the best single team tally in JLM history but I'm guessing the Bacardi (151) I laid on you boys has to be up there with the best of them. Let's go over the results.

Larry - Ahh yes, the UPS team with three Browns slated in at the wide receiver position. I assume you meant Thomas Brown of UGA (Reggie has been too scared to play college ball since Junior Rosegreen knocked him the F out back in '04). Unfortunately he's a RB instead of a WR. It was no biggie though so I gave you his points. In the future however, a player must be played at his listed position. You still get points for a RB's receiving yards or a WR's rushing stats, but you have to play them at their natural position. Other than the pick of Florida on D, Larry followed up a strong Week 1 with a weak week 2. Total points - Bill and Ted (69)

James - Mr. Dinsmore seems to be reversing his miserable history with WR picks. He took a flyer on AU backup Rod Smith who got him 14 points, while Dwayne Bowe scored 12 as LSU tuned up for the Game of the Century by toying with Arizona. Alas, he reverted back to his old ways with the Dexter McCluster choice - only 3 points as he had a glorified running back (Ole Miss QB Brent Schaffer) trying to get the ball to him. The Brad Lester pick was solid as well. After two weeks Brad is ahead of Kenny 4-1 on the touchdown tally. Total points - The Year we Got Rid of the Midget (98)

Matt - Ahh yes, to the victor goes the spoils of writing about oneself in glowing terms (if only I had more than seven minutes left on my computer session here at the library...really gotta get the net hooked up at the apartment). As I mentioned earlier, all my picks went for double digits, with my low scorer being Courtney Taylor with 10 (gotta figure he finds the end zone this week). Even John Vaughn, on the heels of that massive 55 yard field goal, contributed 12 points. The big guns were Ainge with 32, McFadden with 30, and Meachem with 23. Total points - Bacardi (151)

This week -- I'm actually not feeling all that great heading into the LSU game. I think Kenny and Brad will be fine, although it might take a little while to loosen up the LSU D-line. I'm just not sold yet on Brandon stepping it up in the big time. I know he played well at LSU last year and came up huge in the 4th quarter against UGA, but he still hasn't showed me he can step up and consistently make the big plays against top notch defenses when all the pressure is on him. And come on, we're ranked number 3 with the number 6 team coming into our house...all the pressure is on him this week. As much as I hate to say it, I see a close loss this week. Hopefully we won't fall too far IF we lose. My pick - LSU 23 - Auburn 16

LMJ Week 2

Team Ifonlywecouldcompeteatwhosleepstheleastamountoftime

QB Russell LSU
RB Kenny Irons AU
RB BenJarvis Money-Ellis Ole
WR Brown Bama
WR Brown UGA
WR Brown TN
K Wilhoit
D Florida

Close Scores in Week 1...Kind of

Okay, so Larry and James had a close score in week 1. Mr. Dinsmore must have surely used his time off this summer to scour the preseason magazines and beef up his SEC player knowledge. His inspired selection of Ole Miss transfer running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis (seriously, when you name your kid BenJarvus you should be reported to Child Services immediately and have your children taken away) and his pilfered selection of Kenny Irons (I know there's no rule against picking the same player as another JLMer - I even did it myself with a bust pick - but you gotta know I'm gonna give you a little grief for it) led him to a seven point victory over Larry, 105-98. The good doctor is certainly kicking himself in the rump for choosing Chad Jackson at wide receiver. It seems in a moment of confusion, Larry thought we were able to use preseason NFL stats...Jackson turned pro after his junior year and is no longer a Gaytor. The Jackson pick paired with the bonehead move of relying on an Alabama player led to his defeat.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum I attempted to set a new mark for futility. My leading scorer had 10, while three of my choices scored 1 point (all my wide receivers...am I turning into James???) and one scored 2 points. I won't go into the gory details beyond that...let's just say it was fugly.

Larry - 98
Leak 28
Darby 2 (get what you deserve for that pick)
Irons 28
Jackson 0
Taylor 5
Bowe 14
Coutu 12
LSU 9

James - 105
Cox 15
Irons 28
Green-Ellis 24
Rice 1
Baker 18
Davis 8
Wilhoit 5
UGA 6

Matt - 36
Mitchell 2
Jones 6
Wynn 10
Caldwell 1
Rodriguez 1
Rice 1
David 6
LSU 9

Congrats James...but look out. If I double my score from Week 1 I'll only be around 20 or 30 points out of contention in Week 2!