New Crib

Well, Cece and I have agreed to purchase a new home here in Roswell (Weezer is still hoping for it to fall through so we'll be forced to move to Huntsville), contingent upon some maintenance issues being addressed after the home inspection. We sent back the amendment this morning with our wish list of fixes. It is a nice house, built in 1989 with plenty of room for visitors, ahem. It's a four bedroom/three bath home with a finished basement with an additional BR and full bathroom down there. The sellers moved to Hawaii so they had to leave the pool table in the basement. Now all I have to do is build a sweet bar and install a flat screen and we'll have the perfect Boys Weekend getaway. Anyway, I haven't taken any pics yet but these are the ones the realtor's had on their website.

Blog update?

Larry...are you going to be making the switch over to the new and improved Blogger look for WeekendinVegas?

Also, I'm hurting for some new Larry tunes. I'm about to wear a groove into Run, Bike, Swim, Puke, Yo Soy el Nino, and Boner's Bachelor Party. I gotta fever and the only cure for it is more Larry tunes!

Giant Squirrel Killed in Texas

Thankfully the US Army's crack "GI Joe" unit was able to subdue the killer varmint after numerous civilian "critter ridders" were lost as casualties.

Help for Christmas

If you haven't already found the perfect gift for the wifey, go ahead and pick this item up. It's money.

2006-2007 SEC Bowl Pick'em Extravaganza

Well, since JLM was such a rousing success in 2006 (with Larry putting his size 12's squarely up mine and James' collective rump over the stretch run) I figured we should extend the fun with college football into a bowl pick'em. I don't really have the time or energy to go to espn.com or si.com and set up a group so we'll just do it right here on the ol' blog. Just pick a winner for each game. I'm not going to get into the minutia of setting up confidence scores and all that nonsense. Just straight up, pick a winner.

Poulan Weedeater Sharpie Marker Honey Baked Ham Shreveport Casino Independence Bowl
Shreveport, Louisianastan
Bama (with or without a coach) vs. Okie State

Liberty Bowl brought to you by Corky's Ribs
Memphis, Tennessee
South Carolina vs. Houston

Music City (and by music, we mean country music only) Bowl
Nashvegas (home of "Larry Doing the Penis Dance"), Tennessee
Kentucky vs. Clemson

Chick-fil-A (don't call us the Peach anymore) Bowl
Welcome to Atlanta where the players play
Georgia vs. Virginia Tech

Outback Steakhouse and Blooming Onion Bowl
Tampa, Florida (not as much fun without the ol' Mons Venus)
Tennessee vs Penn St.

Cotton Panties Bowl
Dallas, Texas
Auburn vs. Nebraska

Capital One (aka, the annual desitination for cold assed Wiscy fans) Bowl
Orlando, Florida
Arkansas vs. Wisconsin

USF&G/AllState/Nokia Sugar Bowl
New Orleans, Louisianastan (yes, we're back in New Orleans this year...no more really bad Cajun food in Atlanta for the teams this year)
LSU vs. Notre Dame

Tostitos Corn Chips with partially hydrogenated corn oil BCS Title Game
Glendale, Arizona
Florida vs. Ohio State

In Alaska

So I've become somewhat addicted to the new series on Discovery called Man vs Wild. On a recent episode, Bear was in Alaska. He stranded him self at the top of a mountain and then worked his way down to the coast. He then decided that his best chance of finding civilization was to make it to an inlet and look for a fishing boat or tourist boat. I was hoping that a boat would go by with Larry, Kevin and Mike on board drinking beer waving at Bear as he was stranded on the shore. They would keep going wondering what that guy was doing out there all by himself. That would have been good TV.

Looks Like we Blew It

I could have sworn I read an article earlier this week saying Klinnsman had agreed to take the head coaching job with the US national team. Now this. That would have been a great move by US Soccer in my opinion and really given us some credibility worldwide. Now we don't even have anyone on the radar. I'm guessing Project 2010 or whatever it was called isn't going to reach fruition.

The Wisdom of KevCock

Dr. KevCock offered this sage advice on dealing with a pregnant wife:

Oh. You don't even have it bad yet. Wait till anything of a sexual nature is replied to with "hell no".... and you get to hear.... "look how huge i am"..."do you think I'm bigger?"....

learn from my mistake. NEVER...I mean NEVER...say they are getting bigger.
NEVER

Uh...think I would have just hung up the leotard

Yeah, no one likes to be discriminated against, but I'm pretty sure there are some battles you just don't fight.

Where have all the good BenJarvus' gone???

It all comes back to James Dinsmore and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. Didn't we all know it would end like this? Wasn't it written in the stars from the very beginning?

To recap (for Charlie) - James comes out of the blue by picking Indiana transfer BenJarvus Green-Ellis starting at RB for Ole Miss in the first week of JLM 2006. He turns in a 100+ yard performance and his JLM stock skyrockets. Subsequently, Larry picks him like 10 of the next 12 weeks. It becomes a running joke that BenJarvus is a permanent member of Team CrownRoyalorRandomBaggyo'Liquor...WhoCares. So the season plays out and of course we come to the last week with Larry and myself all tied up at the top (wait...that sounds kinda gay). Larry must have agonized over the decision...does he stick with his horse BenJarvus or does he poach top players that have already been picked by the other JLM GMs (please ignore the man behind the curtain and the fact that James had already picked BenJarvus thus rendering my entire argument impotent and without merit)?? Obviously, the Evil Doctor poaches LeMarcus Coker even though he's only had two good games all year and is returning from a monthlong convalescence from a badly sprained ankle instead of taking BenJarvus who is the league's second leading rusher and who also possesses a kick ass compound first name not to mention a somewhat less kickass hyphenated last name (again, for a second let's forget that Larry actually made a ballsier move by skipping over BJG-E and going with Cokehead...the point here is that Larry is the devil)!!!! Do we even need to go over the details of the scoring from last week?? Isn't it already obvious what happened?? Coker puts up monster numbers against ky jelly, netting 20 JLM points. BenJarvus tanks in the Broken Egg Bowl, mustering a measly 3 points. Larry wins the week by 12 over James. Thus, if Larry had picked BenJarvus and James had played with himself (and I'm pretty sure he did that day anyway) James would have won by 2 points and Larry and I would have finished in a tie for wins, sending the overall JLM Title to a tiebreaker of total points scored for the season. As of right now I'm too depressed to have even done the research to see who would have won that.

(PAUSE FOR THREE MINUTES WHILE I GET A CALCULATOR AND DO THE MATH)

Okay, now I'm really depressed. The overall season points stands like this: Larry 1231 Matt 1225 James substantially less than those two numbers (actually it's 1046). So if Larry had picked BenJarvus (I can't believe you turned your back on him like that) the total season scores would have looked like this: Matt 1225 Larry 1214 James still substantially less than the other two numbers, and I would have been crowned King of JLM for Life and given a gold scepter, a diamond tiara, and had my name thrown in the running for coach at Alabama. As it stands Dr. Evil (aka larry lowe) is the 2006 KING OF JLM.

Come on now and say it with me James: Larry, you are the best fantasy football coach in all the land...we stand in awe of your majesty and brilliance...we are but mere Shulas prostrating oursleves before your Tubervillian Splendor.

Anyway, here's how the numbers came out this week:
Team KingoftheWorld
Leak 27
Coker 20
McFadden 31
Burton 4
Meachem 17
Bowe 6
Shene 8
MSU -3 - Total 110
(also notice how I chose to ignore the fact that the two picks Larry made on his own both were high scores at their position)

Team PutAnother100KontheCamryin'07
Ainge 18
McFadden 31
GREEN-ELLIS!!!!! 3
Meachem 17
Bowe 6
Rice 10
Succop 7
Florida 6 - Total 98

Team SoreLoserorAmIJealousorDidILoseanArgument
Woodson 20
Coker 20
Boyd 16
Burton 4
Monk 8
Burks 2 (suddenly I turned into James)
David 7
UT 6 - Total 83
(also, please forget about how I focused soley on the actions of others and how they could have positively affected my life while ignoring my own poor decision making)

The overall 2006 standings look like this:
Larry 6 wins 5 seconds 2 thirds
Matt 5 wins 5 seconds 3 thirds
James 2 wins 3 seconds 8 thirds

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83
Week 10: Larry 100 James 97 Matt 91
Week 11: Matt 92 Larry 91 James 91
Week 12: Larry 142 Matt 95 James 41
Week 13: Larry 110 James 98 Matt 83

Total points: Larry 1231 Matt 1225 James 1046

Looking at the numbers, Larry turned it on down the stretch, winning three of the last four weeks while averaging 110.75. I could only muster 1 win with an average score of 90.25 over the same time frame. So you see, even in JLM the latter part of the season means more than the beginning. Larry averaged 113.83 in his six wins. I scored 109.8 in my five wins. And James managed 97.5 in his two wins. The season averages for all weeks are Larry 94.7 Matt 94.2 James 80.5. Highest score was me in Week 2 with 151...lowest score was me in Week 1 with 36. Larry's largest score differences were a high of 142 and a low of 44. James' were 105 and 41. Biggest one week ass kicking was Larry over James in Week 12 by 101. Slimmest margin between 1st and last was the Week 11 barn burner where I won 92-91-91. Larry's average margin of victory was 19.3 (that's huge). Mine was 22.8 (even huger). James' was 4 (I didn't even need the calculator for that one). James, feel free to have your statistics class run some more numbers on these if you'd like.

Once again, congrats to Larry on the 2006 JLM Championship. It was another fun and well played season. And the good news is this league isn't costing me $75 like my other league. See ya next year with LMJ '07!

It's Official

We now have a new coach at Bama to beat up on and make fun of. Don't know who it is, but we know it ain't Sheila anymore. My guess is Rich Rodriguez, Paul Johnson, or Jim Leavitt. I don't think Petrino would leave Louisville for Tuscaloosa. If they get a bigger name than Rodriguez (who really doesn't scare me all that much) I'll be mildly shocked.

JLM - Rivalry Week

Team Winningthisweekwillallowmetobuildconfindencefornextseason

QB: Ainge, UT
RB: McFadden, Arky
RB: Green-Ellis, Ole
WR: Meachem, UT
WR: Bowe, LSU
WR: Rice, USC
K: Succoup, USC
DEF: Florida

Ok, not that I'm making excuses (even though I am), I blame my poor performances on the fact that I seemed to always be last to submit my team. I couldn't help but look at the other rosters and try and pick other players so that Boner didn't accuse me of copying. I wish there was a way we could do a draft like we did back in the inaugural JLM season. Good times.

Hopefully we can get together at some point while we are in town. I haven't checked with my folks, but if people are available, maybe we could gather on Friday night at their house. Or maybe we should have a late night hole 'em tourney at Jeremy or Larry's. I'll touch base with everyone when we get in town, or while we are in transit. Either way, Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels.

Wow

One of the best web made video montages I've ever seen. I was looking for the Groves sacks because I still hadn't seen them when I came across this beauty. This almost brings tears to the eyes. Check out the one under autiger96 videos. TREEmendous!

Beatdown in Week 12

Wow. Larry decided the race for the championship of JLM 2006 was definitely not over. He came out with an abso-freakin-lutely dominating performance to grab victory in Week 12 by the short and curlies and not let go. This was definitely not a touch and go, down to the wire, nip and tuck type deal like the last few weeks. The final score was a humiliating 142-95-41. While Larry didn't quite set a record for most points this season, James certainly set a record of sorts...with his four, that's right FOUR, zeros. His impressive quartet of futility included both of his running backs and his first two wide receiver picks. His leading scorer was his kicker, and if Wilhoit hadn't had one of the better kicking games of the year James might have actually scored 25 points or less. As it was he had Wilhoit with 17, Leak with 11, Craig Davis with 7 and AU's defense with 6. He got the big 0 from Charles Scott, Mike Davis, Courtney Taylor, and Dallas Baker (Baker caught a pass but it was only for 6 yards). I put up solid numbers and would have contended for victory in a normal week, but with Larry acting the part of a rolling bowling ball of butcher knives I was doomed to second place. I had five guys in double digits led by Russell's 29, Little's 16, Meachem's 15, Doucet's 13, and Lester's 11. And now we come to Larry's Magnificent Seven (I say seven because his kicker only managed a measly 2 points...John Vaughn). First off, he brilliantly foresaw Kentucky's defense taking the week off and allowing Louisiana Monroe to hang 40 in an SEC stadium, thus forcing Andre Woodson to keep the pedal to the floor for four quarters. Woody definitely did not disappoint, dropping 38 on that a$$. Next up, he chose Andre the Giant's tag team partner, Keenan "The Beast" Burton, who caught all three of Woodson's touchdown passes. He was good for 29. At this point James was already in Larry's rearview mirror and I was mere roadkill on the highway to victory. Team WhiskyBag continued with the wide receiver dominance by adding Sydney Rice's 21 and Dwayne Bowe's 18. That's 68 points from wide receivers. That's more WR points in one week than James has had all year. Larry's RBs weren't quite as dominant, only scoring 22 points (or 22 more than James'). Of course, he capped it by picking Florida on the week they decided to play a little D, blanking Western Carolina and earning 12 points.

So, here we are, at Week 13. Larry and I are tied with 5 wins apiece, while James has 2. So what happpens now? Will Larry string together consecutive wins to end the season and steal a title? Will Matt return to his destined spot atop the mountain? Will James come out of hibernation long enough to play spoiler? Only time will tell. And with games spread out over the weekend it should be a fun one. Remember, no Auburn, Alabama, or Vandy this week. Three teams play rivalry games against ACC opponents (sadly, two will be underdogs). Six others will face off in conference rivalry games of their own. The only real sure win of the bunch is UT over UK. Or is it? The way KY Jelly's offense has been playing they might be able to hang half a hundred on the Vols. So, good luck to one and all JLM participants. May the fantasy football gods be with you on your picks. Except you Larry. You're mine! I WANT HOLYFIELD!

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83
Week 10: Larry 100 James 97 Matt 91
Week 11: Matt 92 Larry 91 James 91
Week 12: Larry 142 Matt 95 James 41

Auburn vs Alabama

Well, after the first two drives, I don't feel confident. We looked good running the ball, but when we needed a 3 yard pass, not even close. Alabama moved the ball like they were playing a high school team. It's going to take a big play and some mistakes by them. At least they didn't get the TD, maybe that will take some steam out of the crowd.

War Damn Eagle

Do yourself a favor and use this to get you pumped.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8__wRjx89Uc

The Alabama Creed

Courtesy of WarDamnTailgate

The Alabama Creed

We believe that this is a delusional world and that we can talk only about what Bear did. Therefore, we believe in the past, the distant past.
We believe in education, and though we did not technically attend the University of Alabama, we know a guy that did.
We believe in honesty and truthfulness, because when the punishment for marijuana possession is ice cream, there is really no need to lie.
We believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid. Well, maybe a little afraid of the thumb.
We believe in obedience to law, except for the ones concerning money laundering, because they hinder recruiting.
We believe in the human touch, even if we have to pay for it at seedy Pensacola strip clubs.
We believe in our Country, because it is a land of freedom, and where else on Earth could a man wearing a gold chain earn two million dollars a year losing football games. And because Alabama men and women believe in these things, We believe in Alabama (football) and love it, when we are winning.

More Iron Bowl Thoughts

Bama is putting way too much pressure on themselves over this game. Have you read the stories in the Huntsville and B'ham papers this week? All the talk is about Tubs holding up four fingers after the game last year and wearing the "Fear the Thumb" shirt at the bowl game in Orlando. There is a picture of him holding up four fingers in every last player's locker. The coaching staff put them there. They've admitted they've been thinking about this game and pointing to it all season. Hell, they've basically said this season didn't really matter, as long as they beat Auburn. What's gonna happen if we take the opening kickoff, march down the field, take six minutes off the clock and score a touchdown and then force them to go three and out on their first possession? Those guys can only sustain the emotion for so long. Leron McClain and Ken Darby sound like they have paranoid schizorphrenia or some other psychosis regarding Tommy Tuberville. If we jump out on them, even if it's not as bad as last year, they are going to totally deflate and give up. Remember 2002? Auburn jumped out to a 14-0 lead in the 1st quarter and then basically shut the offense down and just let Alabama's ineptitude and internal pressure do the rest. They couldn't climb out of their shell. Same thing last year (although a ferocious pass rush had a little something to do with it). The only team recently that's been able to overcome early adversity in this game is the 2004 undefeated team. Everything that could possibly go wrong for us in that first half happened. We fumbled inside our own ten yard line. Jason threw a pick inside the fifteen. They completely shut down Ronnie and Caddy. And you know what? It was 6-0 at the half. The second half was all Auburn. Their emotional play only lasted so long. As the article in today's B'ham News points out, the best team almost always wins this rivalry. In fact, only one time in the history of the game a team with three less wins than the other has won the Iron Bowl. I know we looked terrible against uga last week but Bama is not any better today than they were when they lost to Miss. State or LSU or Tennessee or Arkansas or Florida. They aren't any better than when they struggled in overtime against Ole Miss or were losing to Duke in the fourth quarter. They are not a very good football team. Talent and coaching will win this game. And luckily I fully believe we are in better shape than them in both of those categories.

LJM Week #69

Team IMightNeedAnotherIrishCarBombDuringTheGame

QB: Woodson, KY
RB: McFadden, Ark
RB: Irons, AU
WR: Rice, USC
WR: Burton, KY
WR: Bowe, LSU
K: Vaugn, AU
D: Florida

AU 17, Bama 14

The Ballad of Sheila

Courtesy of Finebaum...it's Free Fallin' Mike Shula. It's definitely no Col. Reb is crying...but it's not too bad. And we sure need something to make us forget about last Saturday and look forward to this one.