And Down the Stretch They Come

With only three (or four) weeks left in the 2006 season of JLM it's coming down to the wire. We now have one player with 4 wins, one with 3 wins, and one with 2 wins. However, Week 9 didn't provide the type of excitement we've seen lately, with only one blowout since Week 2. Instead the single best performance of the year by a JLM player was posted by, get this...the quarterback from Vandy. That's right, Chris Nickson dropped 57 JLM points on Duke with 5 touchdowns (3 rushing, 2 passing), over 150 yards rushing, and over 250 yards passing. Couple that performance with a 31 JLM point day from Miss. St. stud WR Tony Burks (192 receiving yards and 2 TDs) and the rout was on...for me...over both of you. Felix Jones helped pile on the points with 20 (140+ rushing yards on only 9 carries and a touchdown) and Meachem and Taylor chipped in 10 points apiece from the remaining WR spots. There was a bit of bad news for me though. My kicker came in last, with only 6 points. My total was 147...good for 2nd highest JLM point total this year.

Larry posted a respectable 97 to take runner up this week. His downfall came with his first pick. Never, ever, ever pick a quarterback coached by Mike Shula in JLM. JPW's meager 9 point output wasn't good enough to keep up with the 49 points posted by McFadden (25 with a TD run and pass to go along with his 120+ rushing yards) and "My Name is" Earl Bennett (24 with 184 receiving yards and a TD). The Auburn picks were solid if not great, with Irons and Vaughn (10 and 11) giving Larry his only other players in double digits.

Bringing up the rear...again, was our little Arctic Monkey, Mr. D. James got some respectable numbers from half of his team (Cox 16, Lester 10, Smith 14, and Lyons 17), but his lack of starpower doomed him to an 83.

So, the weekly totals look like this:

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83

Now, as for Auburn's performance this week...what happened. I was in Cleveland so I only got to see the highlights on ESPN. How do we almost double the yards of our opponent, hold onto the ball for 17 more minutes than them, get inside their 14 yard line six times and yet have to hang on at the end to win? I just don't get this team. I still think we were better last year, and that worries me coming down the stretch. Having said that, I still think we'll win out because Georgia and Alabama aren't as good this year as they were last year and while we can't seem to blow anyone out we know how to win tight games. I'm guessing both of you watched the game and I'd love to hear a more educated explanation of what happened and why we only beat a bad Ole Miss team by 6 measly points. Thanks.

It's Miller Time

I had the day off today and tomorrow for that matter due to fall break. I was able to convince a friend of mine to take off of work and we road tripped to Milwaukee to take in some local tours. First we hit Miller Stadium, home of the Brewers. I've been to a couple of games there, but it was pretty cool to go into the press box, clubhouse and in the dugouts. After the stadium we hit the Miller Brewery for a tour. It was interesting, but not quite as in depth as I would like. The only part of the production we got to see was the packaging. Not much different from packagaing diapers or toilet papers to be honest. Still, it was a neet campus, almost like a small community. And of course the tour ends with a sampling of 3 beers: MGD, High Life and Leinenkugel's Creamy Dark (WI brew). Here are a few pics of the adventures.

Since it looks like I might be able to add some pics...

Here are a couple with Mr. Dinsmore in mind.

There are three types of coasters out here...wee, less wee, and FREAKIN' HUGE!

I've seen a lot of camel toes in my life, but never one on a camel (or imprinted in the sand).

YAWAYAWAYAWAYAWAYAWAYAWA Football!

If you haven't heard the "Col. Reb is Crying" song on the internet by now, you need to google it and listen to it before the game this weekend. It came out a few weeks back and is so funny I could listen to it ten times a day.

LMJ Week 9

Team Under18DaysUntilTheBoysReunite

Q Wilson bama
RB McFadden, AU
RB Irons, AU
WR: Rice USC
WR: Bennett, V
WR: Swain, UT
K: Vaugn AU
D: Arky

AU by 21
bama by 24
UGA by 2
UT by 7

The Wiscy Wonder Boy Gets off the Schneid

Well, we narrowly averted a major controversy in Week 8 of the 2006 JLM Season. As it turns out, James gets to celebrate his second victory of the season without a hint of special treatment from the authorities (namely me...which would have been odd since I'm the one who would have gotten screwed by any suspicious bean counting errors).

The mild controversy arose when Mr. D, no doubt delirious from his 48 hour wilderness adventure with a million sixth graders, chose three LSU players for his roster. According to Rule 74-69-452.34 of the Official JLM bylaws, "a JLM coach must choose no more than two (2) roster spots (players and defense) from one of the available SEC teams participating in a college football game that week". As it were, James chose LSU quarterback Jamarcus Russell, and LSU wide receivers Craig Davis and Dwayne Bowe. Since the rules explicity and clearly bar a JLM coach from choosing three roster spots from the same team there is no clear and explicit rule for what to do if a coach brazenly ignores 74-69-452.34. Therefore it is up to the commissioner to choose an appropriate reaction. Panic, chaos, and the raining down of fire and sulphur were option number one, but I chose to do something a bit more subtle. My two choices were to either eliminate the lowest score of the three or eliminate the third roster spot chosen from the same team. In this week's case however, it didn't matter as Dwayne Bowe was the third LSU player chosen and also the lowest scorer of the Bayou Bengal trio (which was pretty impressive seeing as how he had 16 points). In the end, after subtracting Bowe's 16 JLM points, James ended up scoring 90 JLM points, or one more than second place me. Larry on the other obviously spent much more time this week thinking about how to make his thong look just like Lisa Banks' than his JLM squad. (Saw some pics Larry...great outfit. In fact, if I'd only seen you from behind, bent over, I'd have probably tried to hit it.)

Let's go bottom to top, in honor of Larry's derriere show off act Saturday night.
Team Nice Apples in the Bra
QB: Ainge 9 - I just don't get Bama this year...they play up to or way down to the level of competition
RB: Irons 0 - tough luck...try reading your hometown newspaper next time
RB: GreenEllis 7 - this guy might be the most overrated JLM player of the season
WR: Rice 14 - never know which Sidney will show up...1 catch for 4 yards Sidney or 7 catches for 85 yards and a touchdown Sidney
WR: Monk 1 - can you imagine what Jamarcus Russell or Eric Ainge could do with this guy?
WR: Doucet 0 - unfortunately for Larry and me, we chose the wrong LSU receiver this week
K: Hahnfedlt 7 - even your kicker came in last this week
D: AU 6
Total 44 - just plain awful

Team Hobbling all week because of the massive blisters on my heels from camping
QB: Russell 22 - he's a beast against bad teams
RB: Lester 8 - wonder what the deal is with his groin...why can't he say healthy
RB: McFadden 26 - this guy has it all, size, speed, a huge pen...wait, sorry about that
WR: Hall 10 - go figure...I pick a Bama player and lose
WR: Meachem 8 - still don't understand how Bama can shut down that offense
WR: Doucet 0 - see above
K: Succop 9 - his name is Succop
D: AU 6
Total 89 - respectable, but the zero did me in

Team Back in the Saddle Again
QB: Russell 22
RB: Jones 11 - would have been worth more if we counted special teams yards and not just TDs
RB: Boyd 11 - like Rice, you never know which Corey Boyd is gonna play for you
WR: Davis 17 - the second player who got James a special teams touchdown this week
WR: [Bowe 16] vacated 0
WR: Rice 14
K: Vaughn 9 - we might need him to nail some key kicks against uga and bama
D: AU 6
Total 90

Congrats James. Now, let's try and remember the rules from now on.

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44

No way to react to a bad season by the Packers

It just always makes me wonder if these folks don't think they will get caught, or that in this day in age there is anything innocent about posting such messages on the internet. Of course, I'm sure we'll find out that he was abused, or picked on, or did get hours he wanted at the grocery store. Not that these aren't real issues, but I'm tired of hearing excuses for crimes. People have lost the ability to makes good decisions. Also, they don't know how to stand up and be accountable for bad decision.

What's next? A giant frickin' "laser" on the moon?

Larry, are you secretly working on stuff like this and just not telling us? Cause if you are I want to be the first human you try it on. If I could turn myself invisible I'd totally go find all the bullies I've ever known and give them massive wedgies...and they couldn't stop me if they couldn't see me!

JLM Week 8

Team WellIhaven'tDoneAnythingProductiveYetTodaySoIMightasWellPickMyTeam

QB: Russell
RB: McFadden
RB: Brad Lester
WR: Hall
WR: Meachem
WR: Doucet
K: Succop
D: AU

Thoughts on this week's games...I think we'll play somewhere in between Buffalo and Mississippi State level this week. Kenny will rest his sore toe and Brad gets the bulk of the carries. Cox finally puts up good passing numbers (first 200 yard passing game of the season and multiple TDs) and the defense plays solid for three and a half quarters. Final AU 41 Tulane 13

Arky struggles early with Ole Miss, but pulls away late to win easily 27-9. Georgia continues to struggle with weak teams, beating Miss St 23-13. LSU continues their trend of bitch slapping lesser teams, drilling Fresno 45-10. SC and Vandy play one of the day's most entertaining games with the Cocks sticking it to the Dores in the end 27-23. Bama somehow finds a way to stay close with a Tennessee team that should absolutely run them off the field. However, sheer luck isn't enough to put the Tide over the top and they lose their third game against an opponent with equal or greater talent (they are making a living off beating bad teams)...final score UT 23 Bama 10. Speaking of bammer, they have to be the worst 5-2 team in America. They have one convincing win, over La-Monroe and have survived scares against Hawaii, Vandy, Ole Miss, and DUKE! Duke has been shut out three times this year...they led at halftime in Tuscaloosa and were down by only two in the last five minutes of the game.

Some overall thoughts on the season. The first BCS rankings came out Sunday and we're the highest ranked team with a loss, checking in at number 4. How crazy is that? This is probably our worst team in three years and it's the first time we're getting love from the BCS. Anyway, I don't think there's any way we are the fourth best team in college football and I think we would probably be two touchdown underdogs to both Michigan and Ohio State right now on a neutral field. However, I do think this team has the chance to be a top five team by the end of the year. The wins should be there as Georgia and Alabama just aren't that good this year. We should be 11-1 come November 19. The real question is, what happens to Arky? There is no question that the Hogs deserved to win that game last week. They came into Jordan-Hare, refused to be intimidated, and kicked our butts. But, the fact remains, they are still Arky and they still have a true freshman quarterback. There is no way, now way possible, they go through the SEC undefeated with a true freshman quarterback. By all rights, they should have lost to Alabama (how sick is that...that we look back on a UAT loss and wish they had won) and they still have to play three more tough conference games...at South Carolina and versus LSU and Tennessee at home. I have a strong feeling they will lose two out of those three games. Which means we could end up facing Florida again in the SEC Championship game. Okay, now I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just keep winning games and it will all shake out in the end.

JLM: Last two weeks

Sorry I've been so slack in my duties as JLM scorekeeper the last couple of weeks. Believe it or not I actually worked three days last week. We had a training class on some new editing equipment at Turner so I had to put in some time down at the studio. Then I took off for a few days at the beach with the fam (Cece was in Kansas City for work and a visit with the sister and family). But I'm back and the scores over weeks six and seven have been pretty standard. I barely won last week and Larry obliterated the field this week.

Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70

The margin of victory was provided by Arky's upset over our beloved Tigers. Like I said in another post, I would gladly have given up JLM glory for a perfect record on the Plains. My boy Syvelle Newton was high man of the week, accounting for 27 JLM points. Even though I only had one more player in double figures (Meachem with 15) I did have a trio (Irons, Little, and Wilhoit) ring up nine points apiece. Larry had two players score over 20 (JPW with 21 and BJGE with 22...what's up with Larry and his multi namers??) but was crushed by the negative three he got from Auburn's sleepwalking "effort" in Jordan-Hare. James' silver lining in his last place finish is that his WR corps doubled up the next highest trio, as Hall, Smith, and Davis accounted for 38 JLM points. Too bad no one else bothered to show up for him. Russell was abysmal in the Swamp, garnering only 12 points.

Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55

Larry was off the charts good this week, picking three players who went for 20 points or more (Russell 23, McFadden 20 in less than a quarter of work, and Bowe 29). He also got solid contributions from the in state crew as Hall tallied 17 and Vaughn notched 13. He even went ahead and made the bold choice of Miss St as his team... and they rewarded him by allowing only 3 points in a drubbing of Jax State. My score would have probably been good enough to win on most weeks had Larry not been in the zone. It didn't help me that I shared my three highest scoring players with Larry (Russell, Hall, and Vaughn). I did manage a solid 41 WR points with Baker (I know, I know I went against my rule of not picking a player going up against Auburn, but I was driving down the road and didn't have a schedule in front of me) and Doucet getting 12 points apiece. My low man was the invisible man, Raphael Little (a major fantasy disappointment this season) who didn't play. However, not to be outdone on the low man of the week, James chose the pups from Athens to defeat the Commodes from Nashvegas. Ahhh, but the golden leg of Bryant Hahnfeldt had different plans. His game winning field goal sunk both the pups hopes of a January bowl game (I'm pretty sure no team that lost to Vandy has played in a major bowl in the last half century) and James' hopes of cracking 60 JLM points. Ouch. You know you're in trouble when your leading scorer is a white RB. Hester gave you 17. The uncannily bad Joe T III got you 13 and no one else got past 8.

Here's a quick recap at the scores so far this season:

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55

So Larry and I are tied with 3 wins, 3 seconds, and a last. Meanwhile the Wisconsin winters must have gotten to James' football brain as he has a first, a second, and five consecutive last place finishes.

Average scores: Larry 92.4 Matt 89.7 James 78

Average margin of victory: Matt 21 Larry 16.3 James (would be 7 but there is a lack of a significant amount of data upon which to make a measurement)

"San Diego", German for....

We have an exchange program with a small town in Germany, so yesterday I was greated in 7th period by16 new smiling faces in my probs and stats class. They will be in the states for two weeks or so, and part of the deal is that they take classes just like they would back home. Therefore, they got books are expected to do the work just like my other students. They are equivalent to our 11th and 12th graders, but in Germany they actually have a 13th year of school so they still have a couple of years before they can got to "University." One interesting thing yesterday, I was asking which calculator they used and if it was the same as our Texas Instrument graphing calculators. The response that I got was that they are not allowed to use graphing calculators and must learn to do everything by hand. I thought this was pretty cool and wish we put less emphasis on the calculator. I believe there is a place for technology in the classroom, but good grief, I have to review with juniors and seniors how to add/subtract/multiply/divide fractions because they've been doing it on their calculator for 2 years.

I was thinking though, do you think they get back and everyone is like, you went to the US, where did you go? They say Wisconsin, only to receive puzzled looks, like where is that? I was explaining to them that I am from Alabama and they had no idea where that was, or maybe even that it is a state. Of course, I don't know much about Germany's geography either.

LJM Week #7

Team IReallyThinkWeAreGoingToPlayForTheNationalChampionship......InSwimmingMaybe

QB: Russell, LSU
RB: Irons, AU (you just gotta believe he is due, even though he is injured)
RB: McFadden (Made us look like little Grissom High my sophomore year)
WR: DJ Jazzy Jeff Hall, AL
WR: Monk, Ark
WR: Bowe, LSU
K: Vaugn, AU
D: Miss St.

Wilco Concert, Another chapter in the Kevin Book of stories

If you ever get a chance to see Wilco - DO IT! They are an incredible band. I am relatively new to them - been listening to them for about 4 months. They put on a great show. They played in the Von Braun Concert Hall (Not the arena - home of purple 19). Great venue for a band- the acoustics were tight. Jeff Tweedy, lead singer, has total control of the stage, crowd, band, energy. He is the leader. We arrived at about 8:00, which gave Kevin plenty of time to set up his recording gear. He digitally records live shows at shows where the bands allow live recording (There were actually two other recorders at the show, so Kevin wasn't the only recorder). We had to watch the show with the microphone stand in front of us, but you could hardly notice it. (More on the microphone stand later). In between the opening band and Wilco, I went and bought three show posters (one for me, Kev, and Andrew-Angie's brother), a shirt for myself and a onesy for baby Julian. Kevin is going to make the nurse put it one him minutes out of the womb. Wilco had 100 special show posters specially made for the show in Huntsville with the back of a Saturn rocket with the words "Wilco" coming out of one of the rocket motors instead of fire - Art Deco style. Wilco started at 9:15, played 24 songs and ended at 11:10. Great, great show, but the most entertaining part of the story is what happened afterward. The house lights came on and Keving started breaking down his mobile recording studio. We left the concert hall and noticed a croud in front of the back stage entry way. Andrew and I got in line to see if we could get backstage. We both got turned away by the securty guard. As we were turning around Kevin walks up holding his microphone stand and tells the guard, "I'm archiving the show". The guard let him through - no questions. We handed Kevin all three show posters. After they let all they "legitimate" people backstage, they cleared out the rest of the concert hall. We waited for Kevin in the parking lot for about an hour (keep in mind that 6 month pregnant Angie is with us and very tired). Kevin finally arrives and starts handing out gifts - the empty bottle of Maker's Mark the band was shooting after the show (Kevin drank the bottom 1/5 of the bottle), a guitar pick from the lead guitarist, a set list, a hat. He basically grabbed anything and everything he could get his hands on. The best gift of all was the show posters will all six band members autographs. He even walked out to the bus to get Jeff Tweedy's autograph. Just walked right out and banged on the door all by himself. Kevin says we are the only people in huntsville with the special show posters signed by all six bandmembers. Only Kevin .......

A great finish to a great evening.

Let's Get Things Back in Order

Team GettingOldIHaveaBruisedRibandHugeStrawberryonLeganditHurtsWhenIPoop

QB: Syvelle Newton (lightning's gonna strike twice...oh yeah and UK's D sucks)
RB: Kenny Irons
RB: Raphael Little
WR: Robert Meachem
WR: Courtney Taylor
WR: Sidney Rice
K: James Wilhoit
D: bammer

Another Close One

Definitely the highest scoring week of JLM this season, thanks to all the creampuffs on the schedule. And the picking was pretty smart...only one zero this week (and of course it cost the person who picked it). First of all James had to be feeling good with his quarterback selection when Jamarcus Russell torched the Miss. State defense for 330 yards and a trio of touchdowns. I mean, 34 from your quarterback usually puts you in pretty good position, right. Couple that with the 23 that Irons got him on Thursday night and he's in the drivers seat, right?? Wrong. Russell's 34 was the lowest score for a QB this week...ouch. Larry chose the right week to pick Eric Ainge who came through with 40 JLM points. My inspired selection of Kentucky's Andre Woodson (not to mention the ineptitude of the UK defense which allowed Central Michigan to stay in the game and kept the offense throwing till the very end) notched 35 JLM points. Add that to the 26 points my main man Cassen Garrison-Jackson picked up for Vandy against Temple and we had a pretty good race with the top two picks from everyone. After the top two picks Larry was in the lead with 63, I had 61 and James was dragging ass with a mere 57. After that it became a two horse race, with James bowing out when Monterio Hardesty gave way to Lemarcus Coker in the Tennessee offense. Hardesty hardly saw any action and only got 4 points. Larry moved ahead 76-73-61 through the RBs.

Here's where the week's lone zero came into play. Larry was solid in the WR category (except for the fact that he took Courtney Taylor who has yet to put up All SEC numbers this century) getting 18 from Swain and 15 from Bowe. James reverted to form with only 21 from his wideouts (4 for Taylor, 7 for Bennett and 10 for Baker). I had the high receiver with Meacham's 21 and even the Bama jinx didn't happen with Hall's 11. But I fell under the spell of the Urban Myth and chose freshman Percy Harvin, who hasn't done squat since the first game of the season. His goose egg dropped me further behind: Larry 113, Matt 105, James 82.

John Vaughn couldn't bring me all the way back, only outscoring Florida's Chris Hetland 6-4 and Larry wound up with a 123-117-90 victory.

So that's that...my second best week and I lost. I'm not happy about that Larry...it's on this week.