Well, we narrowly averted a major controversy in Week 8 of the 2006 JLM Season. As it turns out, James gets to celebrate his second victory of the season without a hint of special treatment from the authorities (namely me...which would have been odd since I'm the one who would have gotten screwed by any suspicious bean counting errors).
The mild controversy arose when Mr. D, no doubt delirious from his 48 hour wilderness adventure with a million sixth graders, chose three LSU players for his roster. According to Rule 74-69-452.34 of the Official JLM bylaws, "a JLM coach must choose no more than two (2) roster spots (players and defense) from one of the available SEC teams participating in a college football game that week". As it were, James chose LSU quarterback Jamarcus Russell, and LSU wide receivers Craig Davis and Dwayne Bowe. Since the rules explicity and clearly bar a JLM coach from choosing three roster spots from the same team there is no clear and explicit rule for what to do if a coach brazenly ignores 74-69-452.34. Therefore it is up to the commissioner to choose an appropriate reaction. Panic, chaos, and the raining down of fire and sulphur were option number one, but I chose to do something a bit more subtle. My two choices were to either eliminate the lowest score of the three or eliminate the third roster spot chosen from the same team. In this week's case however, it didn't matter as Dwayne Bowe was the third LSU player chosen and also the lowest scorer of the Bayou Bengal trio (which was pretty impressive seeing as how he had 16 points). In the end, after subtracting Bowe's 16 JLM points, James ended up scoring 90 JLM points, or one more than second place me. Larry on the other obviously spent much more time this week thinking about how to make his thong look just like Lisa Banks' than his JLM squad. (Saw some pics Larry...great outfit. In fact, if I'd only seen you from behind, bent over, I'd have probably tried to hit it.)
Let's go bottom to top, in honor of Larry's derriere show off act Saturday night.
Team Nice Apples in the Bra
QB: Ainge 9 - I just don't get Bama this year...they play up to or way down to the level of competition
RB: Irons 0 - tough luck...try reading your hometown newspaper next time
RB: GreenEllis 7 - this guy might be the most overrated JLM player of the season
WR: Rice 14 - never know which Sidney will show up...1 catch for 4 yards Sidney or 7 catches for 85 yards and a touchdown Sidney
WR: Monk 1 - can you imagine what Jamarcus Russell or Eric Ainge could do with this guy?
WR: Doucet 0 - unfortunately for Larry and me, we chose the wrong LSU receiver this week
K: Hahnfedlt 7 - even your kicker came in last this week
D: AU 6
Total 44 - just plain awful
Team Hobbling all week because of the massive blisters on my heels from camping
QB: Russell 22 - he's a beast against bad teams
RB: Lester 8 - wonder what the deal is with his groin...why can't he say healthy
RB: McFadden 26 - this guy has it all, size, speed, a huge pen...wait, sorry about that
WR: Hall 10 - go figure...I pick a Bama player and lose
WR: Meachem 8 - still don't understand how Bama can shut down that offense
WR: Doucet 0 - see above
K: Succop 9 - his name is Succop
D: AU 6
Total 89 - respectable, but the zero did me in
Team Back in the Saddle Again
QB: Russell 22
RB: Jones 11 - would have been worth more if we counted special teams yards and not just TDs
RB: Boyd 11 - like Rice, you never know which Corey Boyd is gonna play for you
WR: Davis 17 - the second player who got James a special teams touchdown this week
WR: [Bowe 16] vacated 0
WR: Rice 14
K: Vaughn 9 - we might need him to nail some key kicks against uga and bama
D: AU 6
Total 90
Congrats James. Now, let's try and remember the rules from now on.
Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
It was a must win week for Team I'mfreezingmybuttoff.
Still trying to figure out how Jeremy's wife got mentioned in that post. And I'm trying to get the pictures out of my head of Larry in a thong. Someone clarify please!
I'll forward you the disturbing photographic evidence.
Post a Comment