Weekend in Auburn

Well...the weekend is over and now we're all back at home or work. Another get together has gone by and more stories were created (random liquor bag helps cold, wet AU fans through miserable a$$ kicking), legends were born ("football!"), and sinks were puked in (sorry Rob and Malissa). I'm sure those of you who have a more complete recollection of the weekend's events will post your thoughts and stories soon, so I'll get right down to the important business and go over the scores for the closest JLM battle in JLM history. The final scores this week: 92-91-91.

Now the fun begins. We get to go over the several different scenarios that could have had anyone of us winning or losing. There were repicks that helped and some that didn't. There were negative numbers that hurt their GM and some that ruined their GM's career. It was the lowest kicker scoring week in memory...and that's what turned out to be the difference. The winning team got 4 points from its kicker. The two losing teams got 2 points each.

The highest scoring JLM game of the week was largely ignored as Kentucky scored 21 4th quarter points to outlast Vandy 38-26 and stake their claim to one of the SEC's 8 bowl slots. No one had the foresight or foreskin to win JLM with their first pick. Andre Woodson dipped himself in KY jelly and slipped, slid, and slithered his way around, over, and through the Vandy defense to the tune of 450 passing yards and 4 touchdowns. That 46 point outburst would have easily carried a team to victory. As it was, our three quarterbacks accounted for 31, 17, and -1 (guess who). In fact the only player picked from this game was Larry's late replacement of Jayson Swain with Earl Bennett. Good call as Bennett notched 29 points on 220 receiving yards, a 13 yard run, and a touchdown. Larry's good luck didn't end with replacing Swain (who grabbed a whopping 3 passes for 42 yards for UT). Bennett hauled in a meaningless 40 yard TD pass on the last play of the game to tack on 10 JLM points and push Larry's team score into the 90s. But was it enough? Let's see.

At QB, he made the tough decision to start Leak, knowing that Tebow would see some playing time and possibly steal a scoring opportunity away from the starter. Sure enough, Tebow scored the winning touchdown on a 12 yard run while Leak stood quietly on the sideline. Leak did manage a respectable 17 points for Larry though. Unfortunately for Larry he chose Auburn's backfield duo of Irons and Lester who combined for only 14 JLM points. The receiver position was solid for Team RandomBaggieO'Liquor. In addition to Bennett's 29, Early Doucet notched 16 JLM points and the enigma that is Sidney Rice brought 7 to the table. The 52 receiver points led all JLM squads this week. Larry smartly chose LSU's defense, as the only sure win of the week and was sitting pretty at 89 points. But alas, just as fortune giveth, she sure as heck can taketh away. Remember that desperation touchdown that Vandy scored on the last play of the game? Well, they didn't bother kicking the extra point (not to mention the fact that they went for two earlier in the game for no good reason) and thus Hahnfeldt only ended up with two extra points on the day, good for 2 JLM points. And Larry ends up with 91.

So now we know...the winner came down to Team Blizzard or Team BobbyHurley. It looked like a blowout early on as James's QB choice (did he just draft Russell at the beginning of the season and play him every week or is that my imagination) was magnificent, throwing for 200+ yards with 3 scored and no ints. He even got positive yards on the ground with 37 rushing yards. It all added up to 31 points. My quarterback on the other hand...well, let's just say he didn't have a good day. He finished up 8 for 12 on the day for 35 yards and a touchdown. Oh yeah, four of those completions were to Georgia players. So he had 1 point for yards, six for a touchdown, and negative 8 for ints. So, after the QBs I was only 32 points behind James. Lucky for me I had the ManChild D. McFadden on my side. His all purpose performance (rushed for 181 yards and two touchdowns, caught a few passes for positive yards, and even threw a touchdown pass) led to 36 JLM points and got me right back in it. Wynn chipped in 10 points to get me almost even with James, whose RBs didn't have quite the flair of the MC. Lester got 10 (even though he should have gotten much more) and Jones added 7. So, after the RBs, the race for the title was a bit closer...48 for James to 45 for me.

Now, let's be honest here. If you're in a close matchup with James heading into the wide receivers you have to be feeling pretty good about yourself. Historically this has been...well, let's just call it a weak spot for James. A chink in the armour if you will. Okay, let's face it, he pretty much stinks it up on the wide receivers every week. He has the uncanny ability to choose a guy whose teammate goes off for 120 yards and two touchdowns while his pick gets 2 catches for 13 yards. It's almost scary really. Well, this week was a bit different. While he didn't match Larry's 52, he scored into the 40s, led by Marcus Monk's 25. Bowe chipped in 13 and Courtney Taylor added 6 more (thanks mostly to his 51 rushing yards) for a total of 44 JLM points. I got double digits from all three players and finished with 37 points. Unfortunately that left me trailing by 10 points, with only kickers and teams left.

By now you should have figured out what's going to happen. Just as James has ridden the right arm of Jamarcus Russell all season, he has for some unknown reason, attempted to ride the right leg (wait, is James a dog now?) of Jamie Christensen. We all know what it means when you rely on Bama players. It means the big L and I don't mean Love. Or even Like. It means a loss. As in, you play with losers...and you lose. Christensen made both his PATs but that two points only pushed James total to 94. Which if you think about the fact that I finished with 92 points, would make you think that James was in decent shape to win. All he had to do was pick a winning team and the week was his. Easy right? Guess not. As most anyone would do when they need a sure victory James took advice from Wesley Snipes who famously said, "always bet on black". Well, in this case James took that to mean the black and gold of Vandy. Which, if Kentucky hadn't posted those three fourth quarter touchdowns, wouldn't have been so bad. Unfortunately, the Cats came back...Vandy was Vandy...and he ended up with 91 JLM points. Jarvis Moss's block of Ryan Succop's field goal on the last play of the Fla/SC game was worth 6 JLM points to me...and along with Colt David's four extra points that gave me 92 points and the win. Oh, what a weekend.

Here's the post mortem:

Matt James Larry
Cox -1 Russell 31 Leak 17
McFadden 36 Lester 10 Lester 10
Wynn 10 Jones 7 Irons 4
Hall 14 Bowe 13 Doucet 16
Baker 11 Monk 25 Rice 7
Meachem 12 Taylor 6 Bennett 29
David 4 Christensen 2 Hahnfeldt 2
Florida 6 Vandy -3 LSU 6
Total: 92 Total: 91 Total: 91

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83
Week 10: Larry 100 James 97 Matt 91
Week 11: Matt 92 Larry 91 James 91

Wins - Matt 5 Larry 4 James 2