Wednesday, December 20, 2006

New Crib

Well, Cece and I have agreed to purchase a new home here in Roswell (Weezer is still hoping for it to fall through so we'll be forced to move to Huntsville), contingent upon some maintenance issues being addressed after the home inspection. We sent back the amendment this morning with our wish list of fixes. It is a nice house, built in 1989 with plenty of room for visitors, ahem. It's a four bedroom/three bath home with a finished basement with an additional BR and full bathroom down there. The sellers moved to Hawaii so they had to leave the pool table in the basement. Now all I have to do is build a sweet bar and install a flat screen and we'll have the perfect Boys Weekend getaway. Anyway, I haven't taken any pics yet but these are the ones the realtor's had on their website.




Blog update?

Larry...are you going to be making the switch over to the new and improved Blogger look for WeekendinVegas?

Also, I'm hurting for some new Larry tunes. I'm about to wear a groove into Run, Bike, Swim, Puke, Yo Soy el Nino, and Boner's Bachelor Party. I gotta fever and the only cure for it is more Larry tunes!

Giant Squirrel Killed in Texas

Thankfully the US Army's crack "GI Joe" unit was able to subdue the killer varmint after numerous civilian "critter ridders" were lost as casualties.


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Help for Christmas

If you haven't already found the perfect gift for the wifey, go ahead and pick this item up. It's money.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

2006-2007 SEC Bowl Pick'em Extravaganza

Well, since JLM was such a rousing success in 2006 (with Larry putting his size 12's squarely up mine and James' collective rump over the stretch run) I figured we should extend the fun with college football into a bowl pick'em. I don't really have the time or energy to go to espn.com or si.com and set up a group so we'll just do it right here on the ol' blog. Just pick a winner for each game. I'm not going to get into the minutia of setting up confidence scores and all that nonsense. Just straight up, pick a winner.

Poulan Weedeater Sharpie Marker Honey Baked Ham Shreveport Casino Independence Bowl
Shreveport, Louisianastan
Bama (with or without a coach) vs. Okie State

Liberty Bowl brought to you by Corky's Ribs
Memphis, Tennessee
South Carolina vs. Houston

Music City (and by music, we mean country music only) Bowl
Nashvegas (home of "Larry Doing the Penis Dance"), Tennessee
Kentucky vs. Clemson

Chick-fil-A (don't call us the Peach anymore) Bowl
Welcome to Atlanta where the players play
Georgia vs. Virginia Tech

Outback Steakhouse and Blooming Onion Bowl
Tampa, Florida (not as much fun without the ol' Mons Venus)
Tennessee vs Penn St.

Cotton Panties Bowl
Dallas, Texas
Auburn vs. Nebraska

Capital One (aka, the annual desitination for cold assed Wiscy fans) Bowl
Orlando, Florida
Arkansas vs. Wisconsin

USF&G/AllState/Nokia Sugar Bowl
New Orleans, Louisianastan (yes, we're back in New Orleans this year...no more really bad Cajun food in Atlanta for the teams this year)
LSU vs. Notre Dame

Tostitos Corn Chips with partially hydrogenated corn oil BCS Title Game
Glendale, Arizona
Florida vs. Ohio State

Saturday, December 09, 2006

In Alaska

So I've become somewhat addicted to the new series on Discovery called Man vs Wild. On a recent episode, Bear was in Alaska. He stranded him self at the top of a mountain and then worked his way down to the coast. He then decided that his best chance of finding civilization was to make it to an inlet and look for a fishing boat or tourist boat. I was hoping that a boat would go by with Larry, Kevin and Mike on board drinking beer waving at Bear as he was stranded on the shore. They would keep going wondering what that guy was doing out there all by himself. That would have been good TV.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Looks Like we Blew It

I could have sworn I read an article earlier this week saying Klinnsman had agreed to take the head coaching job with the US national team. Now this. That would have been a great move by US Soccer in my opinion and really given us some credibility worldwide. Now we don't even have anyone on the radar. I'm guessing Project 2010 or whatever it was called isn't going to reach fruition.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Wisdom of KevCock

Dr. KevCock offered this sage advice on dealing with a pregnant wife:

Oh. You don't even have it bad yet. Wait till anything of a sexual nature is replied to with "hell no".... and you get to hear.... "look how huge i am"..."do you think I'm bigger?"....

learn from my mistake. NEVER...I mean NEVER...say they are getting bigger.
NEVER

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Uh...think I would have just hung up the leotard

Yeah, no one likes to be discriminated against, but I'm pretty sure there are some battles you just don't fight.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Where have all the good BenJarvus' gone???

It all comes back to James Dinsmore and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. Didn't we all know it would end like this? Wasn't it written in the stars from the very beginning?

To recap (for Charlie) - James comes out of the blue by picking Indiana transfer BenJarvus Green-Ellis starting at RB for Ole Miss in the first week of JLM 2006. He turns in a 100+ yard performance and his JLM stock skyrockets. Subsequently, Larry picks him like 10 of the next 12 weeks. It becomes a running joke that BenJarvus is a permanent member of Team CrownRoyalorRandomBaggyo'Liquor...WhoCares. So the season plays out and of course we come to the last week with Larry and myself all tied up at the top (wait...that sounds kinda gay). Larry must have agonized over the decision...does he stick with his horse BenJarvus or does he poach top players that have already been picked by the other JLM GMs (please ignore the man behind the curtain and the fact that James had already picked BenJarvus thus rendering my entire argument impotent and without merit)?? Obviously, the Evil Doctor poaches LeMarcus Coker even though he's only had two good games all year and is returning from a monthlong convalescence from a badly sprained ankle instead of taking BenJarvus who is the league's second leading rusher and who also possesses a kick ass compound first name not to mention a somewhat less kickass hyphenated last name (again, for a second let's forget that Larry actually made a ballsier move by skipping over BJG-E and going with Cokehead...the point here is that Larry is the devil)!!!! Do we even need to go over the details of the scoring from last week?? Isn't it already obvious what happened?? Coker puts up monster numbers against ky jelly, netting 20 JLM points. BenJarvus tanks in the Broken Egg Bowl, mustering a measly 3 points. Larry wins the week by 12 over James. Thus, if Larry had picked BenJarvus and James had played with himself (and I'm pretty sure he did that day anyway) James would have won by 2 points and Larry and I would have finished in a tie for wins, sending the overall JLM Title to a tiebreaker of total points scored for the season. As of right now I'm too depressed to have even done the research to see who would have won that.

(PAUSE FOR THREE MINUTES WHILE I GET A CALCULATOR AND DO THE MATH)

Okay, now I'm really depressed. The overall season points stands like this: Larry 1231 Matt 1225 James substantially less than those two numbers (actually it's 1046). So if Larry had picked BenJarvus (I can't believe you turned your back on him like that) the total season scores would have looked like this: Matt 1225 Larry 1214 James still substantially less than the other two numbers, and I would have been crowned King of JLM for Life and given a gold scepter, a diamond tiara, and had my name thrown in the running for coach at Alabama. As it stands Dr. Evil (aka larry lowe) is the 2006 KING OF JLM.

Come on now and say it with me James: Larry, you are the best fantasy football coach in all the land...we stand in awe of your majesty and brilliance...we are but mere Shulas prostrating oursleves before your Tubervillian Splendor.

Anyway, here's how the numbers came out this week:
Team KingoftheWorld
Leak 27
Coker 20
McFadden 31
Burton 4
Meachem 17
Bowe 6
Shene 8
MSU -3 - Total 110
(also notice how I chose to ignore the fact that the two picks Larry made on his own both were high scores at their position)

Team PutAnother100KontheCamryin'07
Ainge 18
McFadden 31
GREEN-ELLIS!!!!! 3
Meachem 17
Bowe 6
Rice 10
Succop 7
Florida 6 - Total 98

Team SoreLoserorAmIJealousorDidILoseanArgument
Woodson 20
Coker 20
Boyd 16
Burton 4
Monk 8
Burks 2 (suddenly I turned into James)
David 7
UT 6 - Total 83
(also, please forget about how I focused soley on the actions of others and how they could have positively affected my life while ignoring my own poor decision making)

The overall 2006 standings look like this:
Larry 6 wins 5 seconds 2 thirds
Matt 5 wins 5 seconds 3 thirds
James 2 wins 3 seconds 8 thirds

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83
Week 10: Larry 100 James 97 Matt 91
Week 11: Matt 92 Larry 91 James 91
Week 12: Larry 142 Matt 95 James 41
Week 13: Larry 110 James 98 Matt 83

Total points: Larry 1231 Matt 1225 James 1046

Looking at the numbers, Larry turned it on down the stretch, winning three of the last four weeks while averaging 110.75. I could only muster 1 win with an average score of 90.25 over the same time frame. So you see, even in JLM the latter part of the season means more than the beginning. Larry averaged 113.83 in his six wins. I scored 109.8 in my five wins. And James managed 97.5 in his two wins. The season averages for all weeks are Larry 94.7 Matt 94.2 James 80.5. Highest score was me in Week 2 with 151...lowest score was me in Week 1 with 36. Larry's largest score differences were a high of 142 and a low of 44. James' were 105 and 41. Biggest one week ass kicking was Larry over James in Week 12 by 101. Slimmest margin between 1st and last was the Week 11 barn burner where I won 92-91-91. Larry's average margin of victory was 19.3 (that's huge). Mine was 22.8 (even huger). James' was 4 (I didn't even need the calculator for that one). James, feel free to have your statistics class run some more numbers on these if you'd like.

Once again, congrats to Larry on the 2006 JLM Championship. It was another fun and well played season. And the good news is this league isn't costing me $75 like my other league. See ya next year with LMJ '07!

It's Official

We now have a new coach at Bama to beat up on and make fun of. Don't know who it is, but we know it ain't Sheila anymore. My guess is Rich Rodriguez, Paul Johnson, or Jim Leavitt. I don't think Petrino would leave Louisville for Tuscaloosa. If they get a bigger name than Rodriguez (who really doesn't scare me all that much) I'll be mildly shocked.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

JLM - Rivalry Week

Team Winningthisweekwillallowmetobuildconfindencefornextseason

QB: Ainge, UT
RB: McFadden, Arky
RB: Green-Ellis, Ole
WR: Meachem, UT
WR: Bowe, LSU
WR: Rice, USC
K: Succoup, USC
DEF: Florida

Ok, not that I'm making excuses (even though I am), I blame my poor performances on the fact that I seemed to always be last to submit my team. I couldn't help but look at the other rosters and try and pick other players so that Boner didn't accuse me of copying. I wish there was a way we could do a draft like we did back in the inaugural JLM season. Good times.

Hopefully we can get together at some point while we are in town. I haven't checked with my folks, but if people are available, maybe we could gather on Friday night at their house. Or maybe we should have a late night hole 'em tourney at Jeremy or Larry's. I'll touch base with everyone when we get in town, or while we are in transit. Either way, Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels.

Wow

One of the best web made video montages I've ever seen. I was looking for the Groves sacks because I still hadn't seen them when I came across this beauty. This almost brings tears to the eyes. Check out the one under autiger96 videos. TREEmendous!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Beatdown in Week 12

Wow. Larry decided the race for the championship of JLM 2006 was definitely not over. He came out with an abso-freakin-lutely dominating performance to grab victory in Week 12 by the short and curlies and not let go. This was definitely not a touch and go, down to the wire, nip and tuck type deal like the last few weeks. The final score was a humiliating 142-95-41. While Larry didn't quite set a record for most points this season, James certainly set a record of sorts...with his four, that's right FOUR, zeros. His impressive quartet of futility included both of his running backs and his first two wide receiver picks. His leading scorer was his kicker, and if Wilhoit hadn't had one of the better kicking games of the year James might have actually scored 25 points or less. As it was he had Wilhoit with 17, Leak with 11, Craig Davis with 7 and AU's defense with 6. He got the big 0 from Charles Scott, Mike Davis, Courtney Taylor, and Dallas Baker (Baker caught a pass but it was only for 6 yards). I put up solid numbers and would have contended for victory in a normal week, but with Larry acting the part of a rolling bowling ball of butcher knives I was doomed to second place. I had five guys in double digits led by Russell's 29, Little's 16, Meachem's 15, Doucet's 13, and Lester's 11. And now we come to Larry's Magnificent Seven (I say seven because his kicker only managed a measly 2 points...John Vaughn). First off, he brilliantly foresaw Kentucky's defense taking the week off and allowing Louisiana Monroe to hang 40 in an SEC stadium, thus forcing Andre Woodson to keep the pedal to the floor for four quarters. Woody definitely did not disappoint, dropping 38 on that a$$. Next up, he chose Andre the Giant's tag team partner, Keenan "The Beast" Burton, who caught all three of Woodson's touchdown passes. He was good for 29. At this point James was already in Larry's rearview mirror and I was mere roadkill on the highway to victory. Team WhiskyBag continued with the wide receiver dominance by adding Sydney Rice's 21 and Dwayne Bowe's 18. That's 68 points from wide receivers. That's more WR points in one week than James has had all year. Larry's RBs weren't quite as dominant, only scoring 22 points (or 22 more than James'). Of course, he capped it by picking Florida on the week they decided to play a little D, blanking Western Carolina and earning 12 points.

So, here we are, at Week 13. Larry and I are tied with 5 wins apiece, while James has 2. So what happpens now? Will Larry string together consecutive wins to end the season and steal a title? Will Matt return to his destined spot atop the mountain? Will James come out of hibernation long enough to play spoiler? Only time will tell. And with games spread out over the weekend it should be a fun one. Remember, no Auburn, Alabama, or Vandy this week. Three teams play rivalry games against ACC opponents (sadly, two will be underdogs). Six others will face off in conference rivalry games of their own. The only real sure win of the bunch is UT over UK. Or is it? The way KY Jelly's offense has been playing they might be able to hang half a hundred on the Vols. So, good luck to one and all JLM participants. May the fantasy football gods be with you on your picks. Except you Larry. You're mine! I WANT HOLYFIELD!

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83
Week 10: Larry 100 James 97 Matt 91
Week 11: Matt 92 Larry 91 James 91
Week 12: Larry 142 Matt 95 James 41

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Auburn vs Alabama

Well, after the first two drives, I don't feel confident. We looked good running the ball, but when we needed a 3 yard pass, not even close. Alabama moved the ball like they were playing a high school team. It's going to take a big play and some mistakes by them. At least they didn't get the TD, maybe that will take some steam out of the crowd.

Friday, November 17, 2006

War Damn Eagle

Do yourself a favor and use this to get you pumped.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8__wRjx89Uc

Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Alabama Creed

Courtesy of WarDamnTailgate

The Alabama Creed

We believe that this is a delusional world and that we can talk only about what Bear did. Therefore, we believe in the past, the distant past.
We believe in education, and though we did not technically attend the University of Alabama, we know a guy that did.
We believe in honesty and truthfulness, because when the punishment for marijuana possession is ice cream, there is really no need to lie.
We believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid. Well, maybe a little afraid of the thumb.
We believe in obedience to law, except for the ones concerning money laundering, because they hinder recruiting.
We believe in the human touch, even if we have to pay for it at seedy Pensacola strip clubs.
We believe in our Country, because it is a land of freedom, and where else on Earth could a man wearing a gold chain earn two million dollars a year losing football games. And because Alabama men and women believe in these things, We believe in Alabama (football) and love it, when we are winning.

More Iron Bowl Thoughts

Bama is putting way too much pressure on themselves over this game. Have you read the stories in the Huntsville and B'ham papers this week? All the talk is about Tubs holding up four fingers after the game last year and wearing the "Fear the Thumb" shirt at the bowl game in Orlando. There is a picture of him holding up four fingers in every last player's locker. The coaching staff put them there. They've admitted they've been thinking about this game and pointing to it all season. Hell, they've basically said this season didn't really matter, as long as they beat Auburn. What's gonna happen if we take the opening kickoff, march down the field, take six minutes off the clock and score a touchdown and then force them to go three and out on their first possession? Those guys can only sustain the emotion for so long. Leron McClain and Ken Darby sound like they have paranoid schizorphrenia or some other psychosis regarding Tommy Tuberville. If we jump out on them, even if it's not as bad as last year, they are going to totally deflate and give up. Remember 2002? Auburn jumped out to a 14-0 lead in the 1st quarter and then basically shut the offense down and just let Alabama's ineptitude and internal pressure do the rest. They couldn't climb out of their shell. Same thing last year (although a ferocious pass rush had a little something to do with it). The only team recently that's been able to overcome early adversity in this game is the 2004 undefeated team. Everything that could possibly go wrong for us in that first half happened. We fumbled inside our own ten yard line. Jason threw a pick inside the fifteen. They completely shut down Ronnie and Caddy. And you know what? It was 6-0 at the half. The second half was all Auburn. Their emotional play only lasted so long. As the article in today's B'ham News points out, the best team almost always wins this rivalry. In fact, only one time in the history of the game a team with three less wins than the other has won the Iron Bowl. I know we looked terrible against uga last week but Bama is not any better today than they were when they lost to Miss. State or LSU or Tennessee or Arkansas or Florida. They aren't any better than when they struggled in overtime against Ole Miss or were losing to Duke in the fourth quarter. They are not a very good football team. Talent and coaching will win this game. And luckily I fully believe we are in better shape than them in both of those categories.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

LJM Week #69

Team IMightNeedAnotherIrishCarBombDuringTheGame

QB: Woodson, KY
RB: McFadden, Ark
RB: Irons, AU
WR: Rice, USC
WR: Burton, KY
WR: Bowe, LSU
K: Vaugn, AU
D: Florida

AU 17, Bama 14

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Ballad of Sheila

Courtesy of Finebaum...it's Free Fallin' Mike Shula. It's definitely no Col. Reb is crying...but it's not too bad. And we sure need something to make us forget about last Saturday and look forward to this one.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Weekend in Auburn

Well...the weekend is over and now we're all back at home or work. Another get together has gone by and more stories were created (random liquor bag helps cold, wet AU fans through miserable a$$ kicking), legends were born ("football!"), and sinks were puked in (sorry Rob and Malissa). I'm sure those of you who have a more complete recollection of the weekend's events will post your thoughts and stories soon, so I'll get right down to the important business and go over the scores for the closest JLM battle in JLM history. The final scores this week: 92-91-91.

Now the fun begins. We get to go over the several different scenarios that could have had anyone of us winning or losing. There were repicks that helped and some that didn't. There were negative numbers that hurt their GM and some that ruined their GM's career. It was the lowest kicker scoring week in memory...and that's what turned out to be the difference. The winning team got 4 points from its kicker. The two losing teams got 2 points each.

The highest scoring JLM game of the week was largely ignored as Kentucky scored 21 4th quarter points to outlast Vandy 38-26 and stake their claim to one of the SEC's 8 bowl slots. No one had the foresight or foreskin to win JLM with their first pick. Andre Woodson dipped himself in KY jelly and slipped, slid, and slithered his way around, over, and through the Vandy defense to the tune of 450 passing yards and 4 touchdowns. That 46 point outburst would have easily carried a team to victory. As it was, our three quarterbacks accounted for 31, 17, and -1 (guess who). In fact the only player picked from this game was Larry's late replacement of Jayson Swain with Earl Bennett. Good call as Bennett notched 29 points on 220 receiving yards, a 13 yard run, and a touchdown. Larry's good luck didn't end with replacing Swain (who grabbed a whopping 3 passes for 42 yards for UT). Bennett hauled in a meaningless 40 yard TD pass on the last play of the game to tack on 10 JLM points and push Larry's team score into the 90s. But was it enough? Let's see.

At QB, he made the tough decision to start Leak, knowing that Tebow would see some playing time and possibly steal a scoring opportunity away from the starter. Sure enough, Tebow scored the winning touchdown on a 12 yard run while Leak stood quietly on the sideline. Leak did manage a respectable 17 points for Larry though. Unfortunately for Larry he chose Auburn's backfield duo of Irons and Lester who combined for only 14 JLM points. The receiver position was solid for Team RandomBaggieO'Liquor. In addition to Bennett's 29, Early Doucet notched 16 JLM points and the enigma that is Sidney Rice brought 7 to the table. The 52 receiver points led all JLM squads this week. Larry smartly chose LSU's defense, as the only sure win of the week and was sitting pretty at 89 points. But alas, just as fortune giveth, she sure as heck can taketh away. Remember that desperation touchdown that Vandy scored on the last play of the game? Well, they didn't bother kicking the extra point (not to mention the fact that they went for two earlier in the game for no good reason) and thus Hahnfeldt only ended up with two extra points on the day, good for 2 JLM points. And Larry ends up with 91.

So now we know...the winner came down to Team Blizzard or Team BobbyHurley. It looked like a blowout early on as James's QB choice (did he just draft Russell at the beginning of the season and play him every week or is that my imagination) was magnificent, throwing for 200+ yards with 3 scored and no ints. He even got positive yards on the ground with 37 rushing yards. It all added up to 31 points. My quarterback on the other hand...well, let's just say he didn't have a good day. He finished up 8 for 12 on the day for 35 yards and a touchdown. Oh yeah, four of those completions were to Georgia players. So he had 1 point for yards, six for a touchdown, and negative 8 for ints. So, after the QBs I was only 32 points behind James. Lucky for me I had the ManChild D. McFadden on my side. His all purpose performance (rushed for 181 yards and two touchdowns, caught a few passes for positive yards, and even threw a touchdown pass) led to 36 JLM points and got me right back in it. Wynn chipped in 10 points to get me almost even with James, whose RBs didn't have quite the flair of the MC. Lester got 10 (even though he should have gotten much more) and Jones added 7. So, after the RBs, the race for the title was a bit closer...48 for James to 45 for me.

Now, let's be honest here. If you're in a close matchup with James heading into the wide receivers you have to be feeling pretty good about yourself. Historically this has been...well, let's just call it a weak spot for James. A chink in the armour if you will. Okay, let's face it, he pretty much stinks it up on the wide receivers every week. He has the uncanny ability to choose a guy whose teammate goes off for 120 yards and two touchdowns while his pick gets 2 catches for 13 yards. It's almost scary really. Well, this week was a bit different. While he didn't match Larry's 52, he scored into the 40s, led by Marcus Monk's 25. Bowe chipped in 13 and Courtney Taylor added 6 more (thanks mostly to his 51 rushing yards) for a total of 44 JLM points. I got double digits from all three players and finished with 37 points. Unfortunately that left me trailing by 10 points, with only kickers and teams left.

By now you should have figured out what's going to happen. Just as James has ridden the right arm of Jamarcus Russell all season, he has for some unknown reason, attempted to ride the right leg (wait, is James a dog now?) of Jamie Christensen. We all know what it means when you rely on Bama players. It means the big L and I don't mean Love. Or even Like. It means a loss. As in, you play with losers...and you lose. Christensen made both his PATs but that two points only pushed James total to 94. Which if you think about the fact that I finished with 92 points, would make you think that James was in decent shape to win. All he had to do was pick a winning team and the week was his. Easy right? Guess not. As most anyone would do when they need a sure victory James took advice from Wesley Snipes who famously said, "always bet on black". Well, in this case James took that to mean the black and gold of Vandy. Which, if Kentucky hadn't posted those three fourth quarter touchdowns, wouldn't have been so bad. Unfortunately, the Cats came back...Vandy was Vandy...and he ended up with 91 JLM points. Jarvis Moss's block of Ryan Succop's field goal on the last play of the Fla/SC game was worth 6 JLM points to me...and along with Colt David's four extra points that gave me 92 points and the win. Oh, what a weekend.

Here's the post mortem:

Matt James Larry
Cox -1 Russell 31 Leak 17
McFadden 36 Lester 10 Lester 10
Wynn 10 Jones 7 Irons 4
Hall 14 Bowe 13 Doucet 16
Baker 11 Monk 25 Rice 7
Meachem 12 Taylor 6 Bennett 29
David 4 Christensen 2 Hahnfeldt 2
Florida 6 Vandy -3 LSU 6
Total: 92 Total: 91 Total: 91

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83
Week 10: Larry 100 James 97 Matt 91
Week 11: Matt 92 Larry 91 James 91

Wins - Matt 5 Larry 4 James 2

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Holding the Rope

Before we get to the scores from one of the most competitive weeks of the 2006 JLM season let's visit a little story from Virginia. Seems the "commissioner" (this guy gives all commishes a bad name) fired two coaches the week before a playoff game in a 12-14 year old league because they had the audacity to play his son on offense instead of defense, in strict violation of the RULES HE HAD EMAILED TO THE COACHES BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED. So, not only did this bonehead fire two successful coaches who had the respect of the players and their parents, but he did so because they disregarded an order he gave them about how to play his son in games. Once you read the excerpts from the email you will simply drop your jaw in disbelief. Or maybe not...Larry you coach kids so you deal with crap like this. Well, I hope you don't have to deal with crap like this. Anyhoo...from one fantasy land to another...

JLM WEEK 10! The Night James Couldn't Hold the Rope
So, I'm sure you're all familiar with the catch phrase that Coach Fran used at the Crapstone when he was trying to get all the Bama upperclassmen who had every right to transfer without penalty so they could play in bowl games for a team that didn't cheat to stay in Tuscalooser for their final two seasons. He asked them to "hold the rope". Basically he said, you're screwed out of bowl games for two seasons but you can be the ones who hold this football program, and indeed, this university together as we go through this difficult time. Then after every single one of them pledged to stay at Alabama, he left after one more season for more $$$ at TAMU. (Granted he also left because his wife hated Tuscaloosa, he didn't like all the meddling from the boosters, he felt like he was misled as far as the NCAA investigation was concerned, and a myriad of other reasons including, but not limited to, the fact that UAT sucks ass.) Now, you're probably asking yourself at this point, "Self...what the crap is Matt trying to say by all this? That James let us all down? That James looks like Dennis Franchione? That Matt just wanted to write something derogatory about UAT without mentioning the fact that they got clobbered at home by the worst SEC team in recent memory?" Well, it certainly isn't that James let us all down. In fact, it wasn't even James who couldn't hold the rope. But it was his second RB choice this week, South Carolina's Cory Boyd, who screwed the pooch late Saturday night.

To recap: All three of us had one player going in the last game of the night which would decide the weekly winner. While I had Darren McFadden going for me, I was far out of the race for the win with only 58 points heading into the Collision in Columbia...or was I? Larry was sitting pretty with 86 points, but he only had Gamecock freshmen wideout Kenny McKinley playing. I'm pretty sure this was the first time McKinley has made a JLM roster. James was living large in the catbird's seat. He had 95 points (could have been much more had he chosen pretty much anyone else at WR besides Keith Brown of bama) and had the aforementioned Boyd going for him. As if I need to go into the gory details. McFadden undressed the Cocks' defense, running up 33 JLM points, pushing me to a solid 91 point effort. Good numbers, but not enough. Larry's pick came through as the Hogs blanketed Sidney Rice with double coverage all night and McKinley was able to snag over 80 yards worth of passes plus a touchdown...14 JLM points to give him a cool 100. So all James needed was a measly 6 points out of Boyd. One carry for one yard would be enough...as long as the run was good enough for a touchdown. How about 10 carries for thirty yards and two catches for 31? That would have worked. But no. Mr. Boyd managed only 2 JLM points as Carolina abandoned the run after falling behind at the half, and James was forced to stand on the sidelines and watch Larry revel in the late night heroics of his young wide receiver.

Thus end James' chances for an outright season Championship. The ledger now stands at 4 wins for Matt and Larry and 2 wins for James. Don't give up the hope though James. You can use these last two weeks to teach your squad about perserverence and dignity and character. You can try to convince them they aren't losers (even though we all know the truth...they are) and teach them the object of the game isn't to win, but to have fun and play hard (that's crap...it's winning and scoring with the cheerleaders that's important).

Now, I'm off to go vote in the rain. Cheers.

Final Scores - Larry 100 James 97 Matt 91 - Hi Man McFadden 33, Low Men Irons and Brown 0

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Can't Believe I'm Getting First Crack This Week

Team YAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA Brent Schaeffer

QB: Brandon Cox
RB: Kenny Irons
RB: Darren McFadden
WR: Tony Burks
WR: Andre Caldwell
WR: DJ Hall
K: Andy Bailey
D: Ole Miss

I almost picked Brent Schaffer at QB just to make my team so awesome. But I'll settle for Cox's 227 yards and 2 TD effort.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

You Can Call me J.J.

Okay, not really, but my quest to follow in James' footsteps (and become James Junior) continues tomorrow with my first foray into the world of substitute teaching. I'll be taking over Tonia Armer's gifted classes at Lanier Middle School for the day. Wish me, and the poor students, good luck as we embark on this mission of knowledge, education, and spitballs hurled at the back of my head together.

Monday, October 30, 2006

And Down the Stretch They Come

With only three (or four) weeks left in the 2006 season of JLM it's coming down to the wire. We now have one player with 4 wins, one with 3 wins, and one with 2 wins. However, Week 9 didn't provide the type of excitement we've seen lately, with only one blowout since Week 2. Instead the single best performance of the year by a JLM player was posted by, get this...the quarterback from Vandy. That's right, Chris Nickson dropped 57 JLM points on Duke with 5 touchdowns (3 rushing, 2 passing), over 150 yards rushing, and over 250 yards passing. Couple that performance with a 31 JLM point day from Miss. St. stud WR Tony Burks (192 receiving yards and 2 TDs) and the rout was on...for me...over both of you. Felix Jones helped pile on the points with 20 (140+ rushing yards on only 9 carries and a touchdown) and Meachem and Taylor chipped in 10 points apiece from the remaining WR spots. There was a bit of bad news for me though. My kicker came in last, with only 6 points. My total was 147...good for 2nd highest JLM point total this year.

Larry posted a respectable 97 to take runner up this week. His downfall came with his first pick. Never, ever, ever pick a quarterback coached by Mike Shula in JLM. JPW's meager 9 point output wasn't good enough to keep up with the 49 points posted by McFadden (25 with a TD run and pass to go along with his 120+ rushing yards) and "My Name is" Earl Bennett (24 with 184 receiving yards and a TD). The Auburn picks were solid if not great, with Irons and Vaughn (10 and 11) giving Larry his only other players in double digits.

Bringing up the rear...again, was our little Arctic Monkey, Mr. D. James got some respectable numbers from half of his team (Cox 16, Lester 10, Smith 14, and Lyons 17), but his lack of starpower doomed him to an 83.

So, the weekly totals look like this:

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44
Week 9: Matt 147 Larry 97 James 83

Now, as for Auburn's performance this week...what happened. I was in Cleveland so I only got to see the highlights on ESPN. How do we almost double the yards of our opponent, hold onto the ball for 17 more minutes than them, get inside their 14 yard line six times and yet have to hang on at the end to win? I just don't get this team. I still think we were better last year, and that worries me coming down the stretch. Having said that, I still think we'll win out because Georgia and Alabama aren't as good this year as they were last year and while we can't seem to blow anyone out we know how to win tight games. I'm guessing both of you watched the game and I'd love to hear a more educated explanation of what happened and why we only beat a bad Ole Miss team by 6 measly points. Thanks.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

It's Miller Time

I had the day off today and tomorrow for that matter due to fall break. I was able to convince a friend of mine to take off of work and we road tripped to Milwaukee to take in some local tours. First we hit Miller Stadium, home of the Brewers. I've been to a couple of games there, but it was pretty cool to go into the press box, clubhouse and in the dugouts. After the stadium we hit the Miller Brewery for a tour. It was interesting, but not quite as in depth as I would like. The only part of the production we got to see was the packaging. Not much different from packagaing diapers or toilet papers to be honest. Still, it was a neet campus, almost like a small community. And of course the tour ends with a sampling of 3 beers: MGD, High Life and Leinenkugel's Creamy Dark (WI brew). Here are a few pics of the adventures.





























Since it looks like I might be able to add some pics...

Here are a couple with Mr. Dinsmore in mind.


There are three types of coasters out here...wee, less wee, and FREAKIN' HUGE!

I've seen a lot of camel toes in my life, but never one on a camel (or imprinted in the sand).

YAWAYAWAYAWAYAWAYAWAYAWA Football!

If you haven't heard the "Col. Reb is Crying" song on the internet by now, you need to google it and listen to it before the game this weekend. It came out a few weeks back and is so funny I could listen to it ten times a day.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

LMJ Week 9

Team Under18DaysUntilTheBoysReunite

Q Wilson bama
RB McFadden, AU
RB Irons, AU
WR: Rice USC
WR: Bennett, V
WR: Swain, UT
K: Vaugn AU
D: Arky

AU by 21
bama by 24
UGA by 2
UT by 7

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Wiscy Wonder Boy Gets off the Schneid

Well, we narrowly averted a major controversy in Week 8 of the 2006 JLM Season. As it turns out, James gets to celebrate his second victory of the season without a hint of special treatment from the authorities (namely me...which would have been odd since I'm the one who would have gotten screwed by any suspicious bean counting errors).

The mild controversy arose when Mr. D, no doubt delirious from his 48 hour wilderness adventure with a million sixth graders, chose three LSU players for his roster. According to Rule 74-69-452.34 of the Official JLM bylaws, "a JLM coach must choose no more than two (2) roster spots (players and defense) from one of the available SEC teams participating in a college football game that week". As it were, James chose LSU quarterback Jamarcus Russell, and LSU wide receivers Craig Davis and Dwayne Bowe. Since the rules explicity and clearly bar a JLM coach from choosing three roster spots from the same team there is no clear and explicit rule for what to do if a coach brazenly ignores 74-69-452.34. Therefore it is up to the commissioner to choose an appropriate reaction. Panic, chaos, and the raining down of fire and sulphur were option number one, but I chose to do something a bit more subtle. My two choices were to either eliminate the lowest score of the three or eliminate the third roster spot chosen from the same team. In this week's case however, it didn't matter as Dwayne Bowe was the third LSU player chosen and also the lowest scorer of the Bayou Bengal trio (which was pretty impressive seeing as how he had 16 points). In the end, after subtracting Bowe's 16 JLM points, James ended up scoring 90 JLM points, or one more than second place me. Larry on the other obviously spent much more time this week thinking about how to make his thong look just like Lisa Banks' than his JLM squad. (Saw some pics Larry...great outfit. In fact, if I'd only seen you from behind, bent over, I'd have probably tried to hit it.)

Let's go bottom to top, in honor of Larry's derriere show off act Saturday night.
Team Nice Apples in the Bra
QB: Ainge 9 - I just don't get Bama this year...they play up to or way down to the level of competition
RB: Irons 0 - tough luck...try reading your hometown newspaper next time
RB: GreenEllis 7 - this guy might be the most overrated JLM player of the season
WR: Rice 14 - never know which Sidney will show up...1 catch for 4 yards Sidney or 7 catches for 85 yards and a touchdown Sidney
WR: Monk 1 - can you imagine what Jamarcus Russell or Eric Ainge could do with this guy?
WR: Doucet 0 - unfortunately for Larry and me, we chose the wrong LSU receiver this week
K: Hahnfedlt 7 - even your kicker came in last this week
D: AU 6
Total 44 - just plain awful

Team Hobbling all week because of the massive blisters on my heels from camping
QB: Russell 22 - he's a beast against bad teams
RB: Lester 8 - wonder what the deal is with his groin...why can't he say healthy
RB: McFadden 26 - this guy has it all, size, speed, a huge pen...wait, sorry about that
WR: Hall 10 - go figure...I pick a Bama player and lose
WR: Meachem 8 - still don't understand how Bama can shut down that offense
WR: Doucet 0 - see above
K: Succop 9 - his name is Succop
D: AU 6
Total 89 - respectable, but the zero did me in

Team Back in the Saddle Again
QB: Russell 22
RB: Jones 11 - would have been worth more if we counted special teams yards and not just TDs
RB: Boyd 11 - like Rice, you never know which Corey Boyd is gonna play for you
WR: Davis 17 - the second player who got James a special teams touchdown this week
WR: [Bowe 16] vacated 0
WR: Rice 14
K: Vaughn 9 - we might need him to nail some key kicks against uga and bama
D: AU 6
Total 90

Congrats James. Now, let's try and remember the rules from now on.

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55
Week 8: James 90 Matt 89 Larry 44

Saturday, October 21, 2006

No way to react to a bad season by the Packers

It just always makes me wonder if these folks don't think they will get caught, or that in this day in age there is anything innocent about posting such messages on the internet. Of course, I'm sure we'll find out that he was abused, or picked on, or did get hours he wanted at the grocery store. Not that these aren't real issues, but I'm tired of hearing excuses for crimes. People have lost the ability to makes good decisions. Also, they don't know how to stand up and be accountable for bad decision.

Friday, October 20, 2006

What's next? A giant frickin' "laser" on the moon?

Larry, are you secretly working on stuff like this and just not telling us? Cause if you are I want to be the first human you try it on. If I could turn myself invisible I'd totally go find all the bullies I've ever known and give them massive wedgies...and they couldn't stop me if they couldn't see me!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

JLM Week 8

Team WellIhaven'tDoneAnythingProductiveYetTodaySoIMightasWellPickMyTeam

QB: Russell
RB: McFadden
RB: Brad Lester
WR: Hall
WR: Meachem
WR: Doucet
K: Succop
D: AU

Thoughts on this week's games...I think we'll play somewhere in between Buffalo and Mississippi State level this week. Kenny will rest his sore toe and Brad gets the bulk of the carries. Cox finally puts up good passing numbers (first 200 yard passing game of the season and multiple TDs) and the defense plays solid for three and a half quarters. Final AU 41 Tulane 13

Arky struggles early with Ole Miss, but pulls away late to win easily 27-9. Georgia continues to struggle with weak teams, beating Miss St 23-13. LSU continues their trend of bitch slapping lesser teams, drilling Fresno 45-10. SC and Vandy play one of the day's most entertaining games with the Cocks sticking it to the Dores in the end 27-23. Bama somehow finds a way to stay close with a Tennessee team that should absolutely run them off the field. However, sheer luck isn't enough to put the Tide over the top and they lose their third game against an opponent with equal or greater talent (they are making a living off beating bad teams)...final score UT 23 Bama 10. Speaking of bammer, they have to be the worst 5-2 team in America. They have one convincing win, over La-Monroe and have survived scares against Hawaii, Vandy, Ole Miss, and DUKE! Duke has been shut out three times this year...they led at halftime in Tuscaloosa and were down by only two in the last five minutes of the game.

Some overall thoughts on the season. The first BCS rankings came out Sunday and we're the highest ranked team with a loss, checking in at number 4. How crazy is that? This is probably our worst team in three years and it's the first time we're getting love from the BCS. Anyway, I don't think there's any way we are the fourth best team in college football and I think we would probably be two touchdown underdogs to both Michigan and Ohio State right now on a neutral field. However, I do think this team has the chance to be a top five team by the end of the year. The wins should be there as Georgia and Alabama just aren't that good this year. We should be 11-1 come November 19. The real question is, what happens to Arky? There is no question that the Hogs deserved to win that game last week. They came into Jordan-Hare, refused to be intimidated, and kicked our butts. But, the fact remains, they are still Arky and they still have a true freshman quarterback. There is no way, now way possible, they go through the SEC undefeated with a true freshman quarterback. By all rights, they should have lost to Alabama (how sick is that...that we look back on a UAT loss and wish they had won) and they still have to play three more tough conference games...at South Carolina and versus LSU and Tennessee at home. I have a strong feeling they will lose two out of those three games. Which means we could end up facing Florida again in the SEC Championship game. Okay, now I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just keep winning games and it will all shake out in the end.

JLM: Last two weeks

Sorry I've been so slack in my duties as JLM scorekeeper the last couple of weeks. Believe it or not I actually worked three days last week. We had a training class on some new editing equipment at Turner so I had to put in some time down at the studio. Then I took off for a few days at the beach with the fam (Cece was in Kansas City for work and a visit with the sister and family). But I'm back and the scores over weeks six and seven have been pretty standard. I barely won last week and Larry obliterated the field this week.

Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70

The margin of victory was provided by Arky's upset over our beloved Tigers. Like I said in another post, I would gladly have given up JLM glory for a perfect record on the Plains. My boy Syvelle Newton was high man of the week, accounting for 27 JLM points. Even though I only had one more player in double figures (Meachem with 15) I did have a trio (Irons, Little, and Wilhoit) ring up nine points apiece. Larry had two players score over 20 (JPW with 21 and BJGE with 22...what's up with Larry and his multi namers??) but was crushed by the negative three he got from Auburn's sleepwalking "effort" in Jordan-Hare. James' silver lining in his last place finish is that his WR corps doubled up the next highest trio, as Hall, Smith, and Davis accounted for 38 JLM points. Too bad no one else bothered to show up for him. Russell was abysmal in the Swamp, garnering only 12 points.

Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55

Larry was off the charts good this week, picking three players who went for 20 points or more (Russell 23, McFadden 20 in less than a quarter of work, and Bowe 29). He also got solid contributions from the in state crew as Hall tallied 17 and Vaughn notched 13. He even went ahead and made the bold choice of Miss St as his team... and they rewarded him by allowing only 3 points in a drubbing of Jax State. My score would have probably been good enough to win on most weeks had Larry not been in the zone. It didn't help me that I shared my three highest scoring players with Larry (Russell, Hall, and Vaughn). I did manage a solid 41 WR points with Baker (I know, I know I went against my rule of not picking a player going up against Auburn, but I was driving down the road and didn't have a schedule in front of me) and Doucet getting 12 points apiece. My low man was the invisible man, Raphael Little (a major fantasy disappointment this season) who didn't play. However, not to be outdone on the low man of the week, James chose the pups from Athens to defeat the Commodes from Nashvegas. Ahhh, but the golden leg of Bryant Hahnfeldt had different plans. His game winning field goal sunk both the pups hopes of a January bowl game (I'm pretty sure no team that lost to Vandy has played in a major bowl in the last half century) and James' hopes of cracking 60 JLM points. Ouch. You know you're in trouble when your leading scorer is a white RB. Hester gave you 17. The uncannily bad Joe T III got you 13 and no one else got past 8.

Here's a quick recap at the scores so far this season:

Week 1: James 105 Larry 98 Matt 36
Week 2: Matt 151 James 98 Larry 69
Week 3: Matt 80 Larry 75 James 55
Week 4: Larry 85 Matt 75 James 73
Week 5: Larry 123 Matt 117 James 90
Week 6: Matt 79 Larry 74 James 70
Week 7: Larry 123 Matt 90 James 55

So Larry and I are tied with 3 wins, 3 seconds, and a last. Meanwhile the Wisconsin winters must have gotten to James' football brain as he has a first, a second, and five consecutive last place finishes.

Average scores: Larry 92.4 Matt 89.7 James 78

Average margin of victory: Matt 21 Larry 16.3 James (would be 7 but there is a lack of a significant amount of data upon which to make a measurement)

Saturday, October 14, 2006

"San Diego", German for....

We have an exchange program with a small town in Germany, so yesterday I was greated in 7th period by16 new smiling faces in my probs and stats class. They will be in the states for two weeks or so, and part of the deal is that they take classes just like they would back home. Therefore, they got books are expected to do the work just like my other students. They are equivalent to our 11th and 12th graders, but in Germany they actually have a 13th year of school so they still have a couple of years before they can got to "University." One interesting thing yesterday, I was asking which calculator they used and if it was the same as our Texas Instrument graphing calculators. The response that I got was that they are not allowed to use graphing calculators and must learn to do everything by hand. I thought this was pretty cool and wish we put less emphasis on the calculator. I believe there is a place for technology in the classroom, but good grief, I have to review with juniors and seniors how to add/subtract/multiply/divide fractions because they've been doing it on their calculator for 2 years.

I was thinking though, do you think they get back and everyone is like, you went to the US, where did you go? They say Wisconsin, only to receive puzzled looks, like where is that? I was explaining to them that I am from Alabama and they had no idea where that was, or maybe even that it is a state. Of course, I don't know much about Germany's geography either.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

LJM Week #7

Team IReallyThinkWeAreGoingToPlayForTheNationalChampionship......InSwimmingMaybe

QB: Russell, LSU
RB: Irons, AU (you just gotta believe he is due, even though he is injured)
RB: McFadden (Made us look like little Grissom High my sophomore year)
WR: DJ Jazzy Jeff Hall, AL
WR: Monk, Ark
WR: Bowe, LSU
K: Vaugn, AU
D: Miss St.

Wilco Concert, Another chapter in the Kevin Book of stories

If you ever get a chance to see Wilco - DO IT! They are an incredible band. I am relatively new to them - been listening to them for about 4 months. They put on a great show. They played in the Von Braun Concert Hall (Not the arena - home of purple 19). Great venue for a band- the acoustics were tight. Jeff Tweedy, lead singer, has total control of the stage, crowd, band, energy. He is the leader. We arrived at about 8:00, which gave Kevin plenty of time to set up his recording gear. He digitally records live shows at shows where the bands allow live recording (There were actually two other recorders at the show, so Kevin wasn't the only recorder). We had to watch the show with the microphone stand in front of us, but you could hardly notice it. (More on the microphone stand later). In between the opening band and Wilco, I went and bought three show posters (one for me, Kev, and Andrew-Angie's brother), a shirt for myself and a onesy for baby Julian. Kevin is going to make the nurse put it one him minutes out of the womb. Wilco had 100 special show posters specially made for the show in Huntsville with the back of a Saturn rocket with the words "Wilco" coming out of one of the rocket motors instead of fire - Art Deco style. Wilco started at 9:15, played 24 songs and ended at 11:10. Great, great show, but the most entertaining part of the story is what happened afterward. The house lights came on and Keving started breaking down his mobile recording studio. We left the concert hall and noticed a croud in front of the back stage entry way. Andrew and I got in line to see if we could get backstage. We both got turned away by the securty guard. As we were turning around Kevin walks up holding his microphone stand and tells the guard, "I'm archiving the show". The guard let him through - no questions. We handed Kevin all three show posters. After they let all they "legitimate" people backstage, they cleared out the rest of the concert hall. We waited for Kevin in the parking lot for about an hour (keep in mind that 6 month pregnant Angie is with us and very tired). Kevin finally arrives and starts handing out gifts - the empty bottle of Maker's Mark the band was shooting after the show (Kevin drank the bottom 1/5 of the bottle), a guitar pick from the lead guitarist, a set list, a hat. He basically grabbed anything and everything he could get his hands on. The best gift of all was the show posters will all six band members autographs. He even walked out to the bus to get Jeff Tweedy's autograph. Just walked right out and banged on the door all by himself. Kevin says we are the only people in huntsville with the special show posters signed by all six bandmembers. Only Kevin .......

A great finish to a great evening.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Let's Get Things Back in Order

Team GettingOldIHaveaBruisedRibandHugeStrawberryonLeganditHurtsWhenIPoop

QB: Syvelle Newton (lightning's gonna strike twice...oh yeah and UK's D sucks)
RB: Kenny Irons
RB: Raphael Little
WR: Robert Meachem
WR: Courtney Taylor
WR: Sidney Rice
K: James Wilhoit
D: bammer

Monday, October 02, 2006

Another Close One

Definitely the highest scoring week of JLM this season, thanks to all the creampuffs on the schedule. And the picking was pretty smart...only one zero this week (and of course it cost the person who picked it). First of all James had to be feeling good with his quarterback selection when Jamarcus Russell torched the Miss. State defense for 330 yards and a trio of touchdowns. I mean, 34 from your quarterback usually puts you in pretty good position, right. Couple that with the 23 that Irons got him on Thursday night and he's in the drivers seat, right?? Wrong. Russell's 34 was the lowest score for a QB this week...ouch. Larry chose the right week to pick Eric Ainge who came through with 40 JLM points. My inspired selection of Kentucky's Andre Woodson (not to mention the ineptitude of the UK defense which allowed Central Michigan to stay in the game and kept the offense throwing till the very end) notched 35 JLM points. Add that to the 26 points my main man Cassen Garrison-Jackson picked up for Vandy against Temple and we had a pretty good race with the top two picks from everyone. After the top two picks Larry was in the lead with 63, I had 61 and James was dragging ass with a mere 57. After that it became a two horse race, with James bowing out when Monterio Hardesty gave way to Lemarcus Coker in the Tennessee offense. Hardesty hardly saw any action and only got 4 points. Larry moved ahead 76-73-61 through the RBs.

Here's where the week's lone zero came into play. Larry was solid in the WR category (except for the fact that he took Courtney Taylor who has yet to put up All SEC numbers this century) getting 18 from Swain and 15 from Bowe. James reverted to form with only 21 from his wideouts (4 for Taylor, 7 for Bennett and 10 for Baker). I had the high receiver with Meacham's 21 and even the Bama jinx didn't happen with Hall's 11. But I fell under the spell of the Urban Myth and chose freshman Percy Harvin, who hasn't done squat since the first game of the season. His goose egg dropped me further behind: Larry 113, Matt 105, James 82.

John Vaughn couldn't bring me all the way back, only outscoring Florida's Chris Hetland 6-4 and Larry wound up with a 123-117-90 victory.

So that's that...my second best week and I lost. I'm not happy about that Larry...it's on this week.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

It's So Easy

You really couldn't make this stuff up if you tried.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Ljm Week #5

Team IThinkMikeShulaIsDoingAFineJob

QB: Ainge, UT
RB: Irons, AU
RB: Green-Ellis, Ole
WR: Taylor, AU
WR: Swain, UT
WR: Bowe, LSU
K: Hetland, FL
D: LSU

Are either of you going to chase Rice like yesterdays stock tip?

Closest Scores of the Season

Week Four brought about the closest JLM scoring of the season. And if any one of us would have used his brain and taken Sidney Rice and his 46 JLM points (that's right...160+ receiving yards and FIVE touchdowns!!) it would have been a blow out. Instead we not only overlooked the top wideout performance of the season we (at least Larry and I) blew it on the LSU receiver. Larry got a whopping four from Dwayne Bowe while Craig Davis netted me eight. Meanwhile, Early Doucet reached paydirt three times and would have scored 25 or so JLM points for someone. As it turns out, his choice of Bowe didn't ruin his team and Larry notched his first victory of the season. His top two picks of Russell and Lester carried the team to victory, combining for 41 JLM points. His only other player in double figures was Dallas Baker, the non-touchdown maker who caught passes for over 140 yards but couldn't find the end zone (maybe he should transfer to Alabama...I hear they don't even know what an end zone looks like). James will be kicking himself for hitching his hopes to the wrong Cock this week. Mr. D decided to ride with Corey Boyd against FAU (hey, you can't talk about my alma mater that way!) and unfortunately Boyd was a no show. I don't know if he was suspended or what but he didn't touch the ball at all Saturday. That hurts, as James only needed 20 total points from his tailbacks to win the week. Hello James...KennyIrons wasn't playing and Brad Lester was jumping up and down in front of you waving his arms. And yet again, another possible JLM winning week was destroyed the choice of Alabama running back Ken Darby. WTFWYT??? Anyway, even though he came in last this week, James can take some solace in the fact that his WR corps led the league this week with a whopping 26 points. You gotta look for the little positives in the losses James. And by now you should have plenty of little positives to build on.

Final tally
Larry - 85
Matt - 75
James - 73

Thursday night football this week as the Tigers look to put an utterly lackluster performance behind them with a big road win over Spurrier's Cocks. Unfortunately for me (this one hurts) I probably won't get to watch the game as I will either be in a workshop for substitute teaching in Gwinnett County or on the road driving to Indiana to visit the in-laws. Cece better pray I can find the game on the radio or she's in for it. Now that I think about it though...Ray and Pat bought a new VCR three years ago so they could record the AU/USC debacle for me while we were at a wedding. Maybe I can press them into service again so I can watch the game when we show up sometime after midnight. I'll let you know if you should call me or not.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Re: Game Day comments

I did have thoughts on Boner's Game Day rant. I'm personally torn on ESPN's coverage or lack there of for Auburn. I feel like Auburn is better off to not get the national publicity and kind of fly under the radar until late November. However, it would be nice to tune in to the college shows and here some nice comments about the team. Still, people want to downplay their ranking and say that they have a cupcake schedule. The fact that the games are at home doesn't change the reality that they are playing top 10 caliber teams. Just because they are in conference shouldn't matter. They played a Pac 10 team and it was no contest.

As for the Game Day location, it's kind of a losing battle. They don't go for the story any more. They are going to follow ABC and that's fine. It's easy to get defensive, but the bottom line is that there are a couple of programs (Notre Dame, FSU, Ohio St., Michigan, Texas, and USC) that will monopolize the spotlight regardless. I mean, how can Ohio St./Michigan be considered the biggest rivaly in the country when they are different states. It's not like you go to work and half the people are for one team and half for the other. Or that family members don't talk for one weekend because of a certain game. But I digress. Ultimately, the location of Game Day will be less meaningful, just like Monday night football games in December between Green Bay and Oakland.

On a side note, did Lou Holtz really coach in the SEC? I mean, did he realize that he was in the SEC? He is the worse studio guy I've seen since Michael Irvin. Good grief. Does he still get paid by Notre Dame? Just wondering.

Random ramblings

Well, I went to a wedding in Chicago last weekend. It was pretty much a reunion of people that used to live in Appleton and work for KC. About 75% of those people have left and now work at different places or are in school. Anyway, there wasn't much sleep and I still haven't recovered. Man, getting old stinks. Maybe the hardest thing about teaching is that you can't really show up to work and say that I'm just going to lay low and not do much today. There's always 15-20 little faces expecting something. On the bright side, I spent the afternoon today organizing and helping out with the middle school homecoming activities such as duck taping a student to the wall to see who would be suspended the longest, magic carpet rides (relay race were you carry a student on a sleeping bag), and other various competitions amongst the different grade levels.

I thought I'd share a couple of links. Great stuff from my brother on the future of football at FSU. And in case you didn't get the email on the website my brother-in-law and friends created. Keeping Mike Shula would be the best thing for Auburn.

On a more serious note, I also mentioned that I went to see a speaker yesterday on the impact of poverty on education. Here is the website of the lady that spoke. She told stories that two years ago would have said were entirely fiction, but realize based on what I see, they are very, very real. When I think back to Grissom, I just don't remember poverty. I rerember thinking others had more. What are weird life view to have. Now I recognize that life isn't only about having financial resources, but other resources such as spiritual, mental, emotional, social, etc.

Hope everyone is well. Winter is fast approaching here.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

MLJ Week 4

Team Timetotakeoutyournotebooksbecauseyou'regoingtogetschooled

QB: Chris Leak, uf
RB: Cory Boyd, usc
RB: Kenneth Darby, uat
WR: Dallas Baker, uf
WR: Marcus Monk, arky
WR: Robert Meacham, ut
K: John Vaughn
DEF: Auburn

When you look out at the schedule, which game scares you the most?? Me, well, to be honest, Thursday night at South Carolina. Yes, they are terrible, but after pounding them last year and they're poor showings this year, I'm just hoping that we aren't going to take them for granted. Spurrier is still the ol' ball coach. The other game that scares me, assuming we can go unblemished...Alabama. Oh well, that's a long ways off.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Close Shave

Well, I pulled out a very Auburn Tiger type victory in JLM Week 3. Larry gets the MBP (Most Ballsiest Picks) for the true freshman quarterback from Arkansas (Mustain was the high man this week with 27) as well as the KY Jelly receiver I've never heard of, Lyons, who tallied 20, the second highest total of any player. Unfortunately his two AU picks combined to net only 2 points and his running backs totaled only 10. The score breakdown was Matt - 80, Larry - 75, James - 55. Seems like the frozen tundra refers not only to the cold, hard earth of the Great White North but also to the part of James' brain that picks JLM players. His leading scorer was his kicker and his quarterback only notched 5...ouch. Oddly none of us had any faith in Chris Leak who put up good numbers in Knoxville. If Larry and Amanda had the physical ability to have any more children I would put money on Larry naming any subsequent son BenJarvus as he has chosen the Ole Miss running back every week I think. Okay, gotta run fellas as the line is getting long here at the ol' library.

Two final thoughts. I was surprised we stayed ahead of USC in the AP poll. I have to beleive if we win out and Florida, LSU, and Georgia all continue to play well we shouldn't face another 2004 type disappointment. Also, as I turned the car on this morning "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson was blasting on the radio and I was taken back in time to 2002, on a cold night in Appleton, Wisconsin. I was standing in a smoky bar watching Phil mosh around the dance floor at Park Central or Route 66 or whatever the name of that place was. Good stuff.

Friday, September 15, 2006

The Continued Decline of College GameDay

I know the whole ESPN/ABC bias issue against the SEC has been covered ad nauseum on the web (okay, you guys probably didn't read too much about it, but I sure did last year when I had a full eight hours a day to play around on the web...I mean sell things), especially by the geniuses at www.edsbs.com (EveryDayShouldBeSaturday). But this year it has really gone into high gear and the locations chosen so far for College Gameday illustrate the point perfectly.

As we all know, ESPN is owned by ABC and they are blurring the lines between their programming even more this year by calling all sports shown on ABC as ESPN on ABC. ESPN sees College Gameday as one of its most popular and profitable shows, boosting the duration to two hours this year. The two networks also started a new Saturday Night College Football Game of the Week on ABC this season. So, where do you think College Gameday has been the first three weeks so far? How about in Atlanta for Notre Dame/Georgia Tech (coincidentally the ABC Game of the Week!), Austin for Texas/Ohio State (ta da! ABC's Game of the Week again), and this week they are in (drum roll please) Los Angeles for the USC/Nebraska game (I'll give you three guesses who ABC is showing Saturday night in their Game of the Week). Now, I have absolutely no beef with the location last week. It was number 1 vs. number 2, a huge early season, cross sectional showdown which deserved all the attention it got. The Notre Dame/Georgia Tech choice was slightly more dubious, but given Tech's penchant for knocking off highly ranked teams early in the season lately (cough...Auburn...cough) and the fact that it turned out to be a close game it wasn't all that bad of a choice. This week however, is just plain ridiculous.

I just wish I could ask Kirk and Chris (forget Corso, he's too senile to know what year it is) a simple question. It's the third week in a football season that has seen zero major upsets or shifts in the polls so far (I don't consider Texas falling to number 8 a major shift in the polls...if they win out they'll be in the top 4 at the end of the year and possibly even qualify for the BCS Championship Game). This Saturday you have #2 hosting #10...#3 hosting #6...#11 hosting #7...and #4 hosting #19. Which game are you going to go to. Without telling them the teams involved does any reasonable person expect them to say they would choose the last game??? I know all the excuses they would throw at us. It's two of the most storied teams in college football playing for the first time (or at least the first time in a long while)...Nebraska's resurgance...USC's dominance over the past four years...BLAH...BLAH...BLAH. It's partisan BS any way you slice it. They can say they've already been at a Notre Dame game this year and they have been to the UT/UF game several times in the past. They can say they're saving the Auburn visit for the Florida or Georgia game. They can spew all the crap they want. The reality is they are going to pump up the ABC Game of the Week from now on and the rest of the games are secondary. Remember ABC's Saturday night line up is set for the whole season so if the teams they are showing end up tanking and having crap seasons we're going to be stuck with a whole lot of Gameday stories and attention being heaped upon a bad game.

In summation, Gameday sucks now and I hate that. I'd write more about it but I only have twenty more minutes on the computer. I really have to get the internet at home.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

JLM Week 3

Team SweetIGettoPickFirst

QB: Cox, AU
RB: Irons, AU
RB: McFadden, ark
WR: Baker, uf
WR: Meachem, ut
WR: Rice, sc
K: Coutu, ugay
D: bama, bama, bama won't you bite my a$$

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Where have all the good Boner's gone

Do you remember the days when Boner would break down an upcoming Auburn game with two pages of statistics, strengths, weaknesses, history, etc., often times even suggesting that Auburn was outmatched? Still, in the end he always went with the heart and predicted an AU win. Now, a trip around the world later and he's calling for the 3rd ranked Tigers to drop. Maybe it's the sight of so many man-capris, but I was shocked to say the least.

My thoughts, if you care. I think it's going to be a typical Tigers vs. Tigers battle most likely coming down to the wire. I feel confident that we played better teams. Not good teams, but better than the creampuffs LSU lined up against. I'm a little nervous that our defense, while fast as heck, is small and susceptible to being run on. We need an enormous game from our defensive backs to allow us to put an extra guy or two in the box. I'm not convinced the Jamarcus has turned the corner. With some heavy pressure, I think we can force him back into his old self. As for the offense, I think they've been conservative so far, but I hope they don't get too crazy in this game. In the immortal words or some drunk fan circa 1997, "run the ball, run the ball, run the f#$*(@g ball." Still, I think we need more impact from our tight end, and 6-7 catches from Courtney wouldn't hurt. Also, I'd love to see Lester and Irons on the field at the same time a la Caddy and Ronnie. I think they are both a threat to take it to the house on any play. Brandon will be consistent, not great, but I don't think he'll lose the game. Touchdowns may be hard to come by, so J.Vaughn has to redeem himself. In the end, I think Auburn establishes themselves as a real national championship contender with a solid victory moving up to #2 after Notre Dame gets pounded my Meeeeeechigan (I can hope can't I?).

Auburn 27
lsu 20 (with a chance to tie at the end, only to have David Irons intercept a Russell pass in the endzone)

Did I mention that I won't be watching the game live?? That's right, for the 3rd time since I've lived in Wisconsin I have a wedding (this time in Chicago) on the same day as an Auburn/LSU game. Let's just hope I don't get in too much hot water by sneaking off to the local bar.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Now, that's more like it

Okay, the abberation that was last week's results seems to have cleared up and all is right with the world (of JLM) again. In a startling turnaround from Week 1 I set a new record which can never be broken. Every single one of my picks, including my defense, scored in double figures. I can't recall the best single team tally in JLM history but I'm guessing the Bacardi (151) I laid on you boys has to be up there with the best of them. Let's go over the results.

Larry - Ahh yes, the UPS team with three Browns slated in at the wide receiver position. I assume you meant Thomas Brown of UGA (Reggie has been too scared to play college ball since Junior Rosegreen knocked him the F out back in '04). Unfortunately he's a RB instead of a WR. It was no biggie though so I gave you his points. In the future however, a player must be played at his listed position. You still get points for a RB's receiving yards or a WR's rushing stats, but you have to play them at their natural position. Other than the pick of Florida on D, Larry followed up a strong Week 1 with a weak week 2. Total points - Bill and Ted (69)

James - Mr. Dinsmore seems to be reversing his miserable history with WR picks. He took a flyer on AU backup Rod Smith who got him 14 points, while Dwayne Bowe scored 12 as LSU tuned up for the Game of the Century by toying with Arizona. Alas, he reverted back to his old ways with the Dexter McCluster choice - only 3 points as he had a glorified running back (Ole Miss QB Brent Schaffer) trying to get the ball to him. The Brad Lester pick was solid as well. After two weeks Brad is ahead of Kenny 4-1 on the touchdown tally. Total points - The Year we Got Rid of the Midget (98)

Matt - Ahh yes, to the victor goes the spoils of writing about oneself in glowing terms (if only I had more than seven minutes left on my computer session here at the library...really gotta get the net hooked up at the apartment). As I mentioned earlier, all my picks went for double digits, with my low scorer being Courtney Taylor with 10 (gotta figure he finds the end zone this week). Even John Vaughn, on the heels of that massive 55 yard field goal, contributed 12 points. The big guns were Ainge with 32, McFadden with 30, and Meachem with 23. Total points - Bacardi (151)

This week -- I'm actually not feeling all that great heading into the LSU game. I think Kenny and Brad will be fine, although it might take a little while to loosen up the LSU D-line. I'm just not sold yet on Brandon stepping it up in the big time. I know he played well at LSU last year and came up huge in the 4th quarter against UGA, but he still hasn't showed me he can step up and consistently make the big plays against top notch defenses when all the pressure is on him. And come on, we're ranked number 3 with the number 6 team coming into our house...all the pressure is on him this week. As much as I hate to say it, I see a close loss this week. Hopefully we won't fall too far IF we lose. My pick - LSU 23 - Auburn 16

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

LMJ Week 2

Team Ifonlywecouldcompeteatwhosleepstheleastamountoftime

QB Russell LSU
RB Kenny Irons AU
RB BenJarvis Money-Ellis Ole
WR Brown Bama
WR Brown UGA
WR Brown TN
K Wilhoit
D Florida

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Close Scores in Week 1...Kind of

Okay, so Larry and James had a close score in week 1. Mr. Dinsmore must have surely used his time off this summer to scour the preseason magazines and beef up his SEC player knowledge. His inspired selection of Ole Miss transfer running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis (seriously, when you name your kid BenJarvus you should be reported to Child Services immediately and have your children taken away) and his pilfered selection of Kenny Irons (I know there's no rule against picking the same player as another JLMer - I even did it myself with a bust pick - but you gotta know I'm gonna give you a little grief for it) led him to a seven point victory over Larry, 105-98. The good doctor is certainly kicking himself in the rump for choosing Chad Jackson at wide receiver. It seems in a moment of confusion, Larry thought we were able to use preseason NFL stats...Jackson turned pro after his junior year and is no longer a Gaytor. The Jackson pick paired with the bonehead move of relying on an Alabama player led to his defeat.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum I attempted to set a new mark for futility. My leading scorer had 10, while three of my choices scored 1 point (all my wide receivers...am I turning into James???) and one scored 2 points. I won't go into the gory details beyond that...let's just say it was fugly.

Larry - 98
Leak 28
Darby 2 (get what you deserve for that pick)
Irons 28
Jackson 0
Taylor 5
Bowe 14
Coutu 12
LSU 9

James - 105
Cox 15
Irons 28
Green-Ellis 24
Rice 1
Baker 18
Davis 8
Wilhoit 5
UGA 6

Matt - 36
Mitchell 2
Jones 6
Wynn 10
Caldwell 1
Rodriguez 1
Rice 1
David 6
LSU 9

Congrats James...but look out. If I double my score from Week 1 I'll only be around 20 or 30 points out of contention in Week 2!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Ok, seriously, this is the last one

Well, as the pictures show, we do have a new dog. We've actually had him for a few weeks now. The story goes something like this. When we were visiting Lace and Ryan in Arkansas there was a cute little chocolate lab that lived next door. He lived in a 4 x6 fenced in pen, and was occasionally tied to a leash in the yard, but was never came inside even though it was roughly 110 degrees while we were there. His primary attention came from the neighbor, Ryan, when he brought him over to play with their dog. While were there I joked that we'd take him back with us, if they were willing to part with him. They didn't take the bait while we were there, but a couple of days after returning to Wisconsin, Ryan calls and asks if I still want him. We think about it for a couple of days and decide, what the heck. It turns out that Lace's parents were in town and returning to WI in an RV and were willing to bring him back. I met them just outside of Madison, and here he is. His full name is Gigabyte (his previous owner was a computer programmer or something) but we just call him Gig. He's been great so far, but I go back to work tomorrow and Jen starts school next week, so hopefully he'll handle the crate for extended periods of time.

Happy to be in Wisconsin, at least until it snows.


Abbey with her new brother. Hey give me my toy back.


Fortunately, just before getting him, we found out that Jen could get a free invisible fence as part of an advertising deal from Petsafe. Basically, we get a free system, she provides feedback, and they hope that she recommends it in the future. Much cheaper than the quote I got to have our yard completely fenced in. We only need 87 ft and it was going to be just over $1000. The only negative is that I have to install it and then train them. I guess it will be worth it when it's -10 and I can let them out without worrying.

Monday, August 28, 2006

LJM Week #1

Team IBetImTheOnlyOneThatEvenRemembersThisLittleGameWePlay

Q: Leak, FL
RB: Barby, Bama
RB: Irons, AU
WR: Jackson, FL
WR: Taylor, AU
WR: Bowe, LSU
K: Coutu, UGA
D: LSU

By the way, Wilco will be playing the concert hall in the VBC on Oct 9th, and I have tickets. James, start with "A Ghost is Born" good stuff, good stuff...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Never to early to start planning

Well, there has been much talk about gathering for a football game this year. Between families, flights, new jobs, etc. I was hoping to get the ball rolling. Here are the home games (full schedule):

09/02/06 Sat Washington State
09/16/06 Sat LSU
09/23/06 Sat Buffalo
10/07/06 Sat Arkansas
10/14/06 Sat Florida
10/21/06 Sat Tulane (HC)
11/04/06 Sat Arkansas State
11/11/06 Sat Georgia

Any thoughts...preferences? September is probably not good for us, but I think October and November could probably be arranged, assuming frequent flyer tickets are available. I look forward to comments. Wives, don't be afraid to speak for husbands.

Also, if you need to get pumped up for the season, I highly recommend that you tune into the following Auburn highlights, courtesy of youtube. I warn you that you might want to make sure you have some time to burn.

Home from Alaska

I am back! The trip to Alaska was unbelievable. We apent 7 days and nights on a fishing boat. Our captain was Rich Billings - an envirnmentalist that spent 15 years working for the forest service mapping reefs, observing animals, and measuring forest growths on Baranof, Kuiu, Admiralty, and chichagof islands. We caught about 1000 lbs of fish including sockeye salmon, coho salmon, king salmon, halibut, and various other species that we could not keep. We witnessed humpback whales bubble-netting (a phenomenon where the blow bubbles deep under water below a halibut bait ball and then shoot straight up with their mouths open to eat the fish. We saw a group of 4 or 5 breaching at the same time. They carried on like this for over an hour while we were in little trolling boats about 100 yards away. We saw two bears fighting above a stream. We saw coho salmon jumping up a 8 foot waterfall (and yes a few of them actually made it). We saw an eagle working for over an hour getting food for his new family. We saw sea lions, seals, sea otters, and many other animals. I will write longer later once I get my pictures straight. I have to go get the fish from the airport (we have 10 boxes, about 500 lbs of fresh fish - I look forward to sharing it with all of you!

It was like being Huck Fin for over a week.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

It had to end sometime

Well, the Southern Tour finally came to an end. We concluded with an awesome three days in Maumelle, AR, which included a trip to Arkansas' largest water park, Wild River Country. A few trip statistics:

2090 miles, 36 hours spent in our car (does not include trip from B'ham to Panama City)
59.2 mph, avg
26.7 mpg, avg

It was an amazing two weeks. Being such a long trip really gave me a feel for what it would (hopefully will) be like to live close to, or in H'Vegas. I think I mentioned, but I'd probably drive you guys crazy wanting to do something all the time. Here are a few highligts from the trip.

Not even a hurricane can keep the Flora-Bama down.


Little P getting to know the extended family.



Hiking in Huntsville (great trails!).



Walking the dogs in Little Rock.



It was great seeing everyone. Boner, can't wait to hook up with you guys this fall. We were talking about a game in November possibly. I'll look into some dates here shortly. Larry, I can't wait to hear about the fishing trip. Don't forget to save me a fillet. Jeremy, thanks for turning me onto High School Musical. Fil, keep the posts coming. CHARLIE, let us know how the road trip was. Henley, study hard. Chandler, where are you. Kevin, save a job for Jen. Ryan, do you remember the web address.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Weekend Update

For all of you that were not present for the impromptu boys weekend, we had a great time. Saturday was really one of the best boy's days in a long time. It started off with a Squirrel Nest breakfast at 9:00am. Phil ordered the Big Squirrel on his first visit to the Nest (The Big Squirrel is a three egg omelet with every left over from the night before stuffed into it). I have a feeling Phil grew quite a "Squirrel Tail" later in the day. After the nest we went to Goose Pond for our 10:52 tee time, only to find out they were 1 hour behind on their times due to two different scrambles earlier in the morning. We had the head of the pro shop call Jimmy over at Goose Pond Plantation to see if they had a 10:50 tee time. They did - we pursued. We showed up at the Plantation. Rain started, so we decided to sit in the lounge area of the double-wide and play a hold'em tournement with golf tees as poker chips. Phil won the first $5 buy in, and came close to winning the second $5 buy in game - Jeremy was down 85 tees to 15 and it was time to go play. jeremy, in true fashion, would not give up the game and instead tried to bargain with Phil to split the pot 50-50. Phil declined the offer - I think they settled it with a game of crack after the hold'em tournement later that night (see below). The course was in good shape, unfortunately my game was not. It was quite a shock to challenge James to a Nassau only to have him play the game of his life and tie his personal best of 82. I am now the proud owner of the shaft. My bag feels at peace again with the comfort of the shaft in the bag. Jeremy and Phil had an exciting Nassau. Jeremy bested Phil's 79 with a 78, winning the match on the final hole. We left golf and everyone went to their own house to bathe. We met back at my house for grilled hamburger dinner. It was great to spend time with James, Jen, Phil, Amanda, Pierson (cute little fella), Kevin, Angie, and Jeremy. At 10, the ladies, babies, Kevin, and Angie left - leaving the men to do what men do best. We pulled the round table into the middle of the room and played a $10 buy in hold'em tournament. We drank a big pitcher of Margarrita's and watched Phil eat an entire bowl of queso dip. James won the night game and now has enough money to pay for gas to get back to Wiscy. The evening festivities ended at about 1:00am. It really was one of the best days in Boy's Weekend history. We missed you Matt, James said he would have taken you in the golf match. Can't wait to see what next year brings. I vote for another travel weekend.

Happy Birthday to the blog

Saturday was the one year birthday of the blog. I think most of you have forgot your password to post, so I will resend an invite to the blog. James gets the "Most valuable Poster" award for the most posts. Matt gets the "Farthest Post" award. And jeremy gets the "Please don't ever put pictures like that again on the blog" award. Hope all is well. I hope to hear from everyone once you get your blog accounts up and running again.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Congrats to Boner

Boner,

I talked to your mother at church this morning. She told me that you guys sold you condo. Congrats. I hope I'm not stealing your thunder by bringing this up (Oh, who am I kidding, nobody reads this execpt me and James, and he is in Gulf Shores). She also mentioned that CC has an offer to KC (higher position, very nice) and that you are seriously considering a career change as well. I'll let you field that one if you want. I can't wait for you all to get back. The stories will be better in person.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Southern Tour '06

Well, at this point tomorrow night, I'll be longing for a hotel room in Evansville. I wonder if the Marriot allows dogs? I could kick it with Sven, or whatever the bellboys name was. I guess I'll be zipping around HVegas at first, but will be back at the end of next week. If anyone feels the urge for some gulf coast action give me a call. I know, I know, you've all been on your beach trips. I'll be in touch.

Larry, how are the tee times looking?? I'm not sure if the CD is going to come together. I've only got it down to 80 something songs right now.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

World Cup...my take

I missed most of the first half and sounds like that's where a lot of the action was (apparently every game has started at 2:00 pm but they decide to change it for the finals). I thought it was a compelling game with plenty of tense moments. As I was watching, I thought France was the better team, and seemed to be playing to win, they just couldn't find the back of the net. I've said this a hundred times recently, but in soccer the "better" team doesn't always win. Think about the U.S. effort versus Italy. I think most would agree that we out played them even with a man down. Anyway, I hope there will be more coverage of tournaments, qualifying, European games, etc between now and 2010.

A couple of thoughts, as someone who played I can appreciate many of the strategies that are employed in soccer. However, as a fan, I do feel that something needs to be done to get more opportunities on goal. I'm not saying that more goals are necessarily needed, but I'd like to see at least double digit shots on goal from each side. It's just too easy in soccer to "pack it in" and play defense. No matter how good the offense is, there's only so much space to work with. I've been on both ends of the spectrum. The only comparison I can think of is basketball before the no goal tending rule. You'd get a 7 footer and tell him to never leave the front of the basket. I don't think that doing away with offsides should happen, but maybe have a red line or something that would allow offenders to push up some. Also, I heard a discussion yesterday about how coaches have little impact once the game starts. Sure they make some decisions about the 3 subs, but that's about it. I'd like to see them adjust the substitution rule, allowing two re-entries per game and one more in OT. We had a version like this in college and it prevents free substitution like hockey, but it allows for a little more strategy, resting players, talking things over with them, etc. Am I not being a purist??

As for Zidane, reading about his history, it doesn't sound surprising. There was definitely no excuse so I'm not trying to defend him here, but soccer just has a different passion to it, especially at that level. I've seen much worse, obviously not in that kind of spot, but I've played with a lot of foreigners who've done things that would make Ron Artest look like a choir boy. Still, Zidane is the captain and arguabley the best player in the world over the last 8 years. He put himself before his team, and country for that matter. Now there saying that Maturazzi said something awful that provoked Zidane to retaliate like that. Again, no excuse. People are so sensitive. I mean, you guys have made some comments about my mom that could have led me to crack you in the squirrel pack but I kept my cool and was the bigger man.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Best of the best

Ok, so I'm thinking of putting together a Best of LTL and Best of Boner mix before our trip down South. Just making sure I've got them all covered.

LTL:
James' mix - first one ever
Yo Soy El Nino
Education
Soak up the Sun - This one didn't have a name, but it's the one you made for Boner's wedding
Run, Bike, Swim...Puke - For the tri weekend
Wiki Larry a - virtually a "best of" in its own right

Boner:
Boy's weekend - brings back memories of a Spanish omellette
Nothing sux like a big orange - I saw a guy the other day with a Tennesse shirt on and I almost instinctively yelled this
Tioga in the house - pretty much says it all

Boner, I can't remember, or find any others. Is that it?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Don't let anyone fool you

For the most part, I'm a pretty good sport when it comes to the jokes about the south, rednecks, etc. Sure, I can get a little defensive, but southerners do the same to people who move there from other parts of the country. Still, from the moment I moved to Wisconsin, I've maintained that the only difference between Alabama and Wisconsin is the accent. To prove this, I reveal to you exhibit A: The Tournament of Destruction.


Yes, we went to a local speedway last night to watch amateur drivers compete in crazy events. As you can see by the cars, the purpose is to see a lot of crashing. Events include racing backwards, multiple cars chained together, and of course pulling a trailer (which might have a boat on it). To make things more exciting, a cement truck comes around and covers the track with soapy water. And of course, the grand finale was a demolition derby. All in all it was very entertaining. There was even aguy sitting in front of us with a shaved head and Bubba tatooed on it, along with other things. I'm thinking of giving some of my high school students a car to fix up so that I can compete next year. You can see all the pics here.